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What if we had Kindsight?

We often say that we would do things differently once we’ve been blessed with hindsight.  And of course we would!   With hindsight we can see the actual outcome.  But when we make choices in life, we do the best we can with what we DO know.  And that also includes what we DON’T know.  

But how many times do we actually make right decisions?  I bet it is the majority of times, if we could truly evaluate a whole day honestly.  How little actually goes wrong?  How amazing we are in doing so much right!  Think about it.  If we were really a huge mess-up, that would be our normal, or expectation, and so we would accept it.  Finding mistakes proves to us we really do a ton well.  AND its in the mistakes that we learn.  A mistake is simply a reminder that we can do it better, differently, it is to help us grow.

So why do we beat ourselves up when we do something wrong?   And why would we ever believe we SHOULD do everything right?  If that was the case there’d be nothing to learn.  There’d be nothing better than us.  YUCK!

Can you imagine a world where you do everything right?  I think we would get so bored.  I think, as humans, we actually like challenge at times.  We like learning, growing, improving.  I think we like learning.  We like creating.  I don’t know anyone treasures stagnation.

Plus is we were perfect, we wouldn’t need anyone else.  So what would the purpose of life be?  AND there is no such thing as perfection.  Everything is based upon our belief and preference. We we don’t think, feel, or taste the same, so you can’t tell me what I think is best., only what you think.

What if, instead of beating ourselves up we said,

“Oh fantastic!  Here’s a place I can be even better!  Thank you for helping me see I can be even more amazing here!  I want to learn from you!”

What if we decided learning is a place of miracles and support and knowledge?  What if we chose to LOVE the process and milked everything out of it that we could get?

Everything is a choice. 

Do I choose to seek the positive or the negative?  The light or the dark?  To help myself or hinder myself?  AND if I choose to help myself, how much of a better parent, teacher, employee friend can I be for you?  You won’t have to be worried about judgment or ridicule or being diminished.  You could relish with me in how we create and grow together.  And isn’t that why we are all here?  What if we embraced that life and learning is an amazing gift and you can teach me and I can teach you and we can also teach ourselves.  I think learning would be so much more fun and creative.  I think we’d take more risks as we wouldn’t be so afraid.  I don’t think we’d be so caught up in other people’s opinions.  I don’t think we would hate so much.  Or maybe at all.  I think life would be so much more fun and light and delightful.  And I think we would explode in our ability to learn and grow.

 

What if we respected?

 

What if we were kind-sighted?

 

 

Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT helps people recognize the power of communication.  It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities.  Living with a paranoid schizophrenic mother gave Dr. Heather a unique and powerful awareness that no one has the same reality, though we believe we do.  Utilizing this revolutionary awareness has allowed her to transform communication within self and within all other types of relationship.  This is the hidden key to acceptance.  And this is her mission to share.

As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy.  She is a TedX Speaker and Keynote Speaker. Her couple’s communication book will be out 1/24. She is published in hundreds of journals, has an active YouTube channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine,  Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today.  She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops! Simply go to her website!
https://www.drheatherbrowne.com/

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Heather Browne

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