Comparing yourself

Do you do this?

Do you know why?

Are you trying to lift yourself up?
Or are you hurting yourself?

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Do you know that often we compare ourselves with others in the area where we feel most uncomfortable. And how do we do? Pretty horribly. As we compare our worst features with another’s gift.

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Teens compare themselves to photoshopped models and athletes. Adults compare themselves with Instagram friends or neighbors. It’s all for show. How many followers do you have? How many likes? I was turned down from being in a summit because I didn’t have 4000 on my email list. Yet my open rate was 33%. Above 20% is considered high. So though I had more people opening my email, the summit wanted more emails sent. It is a contortion of reality.

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So we are either artificially boosting our ego or we use it to feel superior over others. Neither is healthy.

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Everyone has advantages, disadvantages, strengths, and weaknesses. Some people find their expertise early on and others are late bloomers. It also depends on that one moment in time. Someone who comes in last at the Olympics is considered by many to be a failure, YET they are also one of the best athletes in their field in the entire world. If you compare one race it makes a huge distinction.

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Comparing yourself to anyone other than yourself proves very little.

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Take a pear or an apple. Both have nutritional attributes. And they are also very different with differing health attributes.

So how can comparing be beneficial? By comparing yourself to your past self. How much have you grown or changed in the past year? This is where you see your true Growth and advancement.

Where do you hurt yourself in comparing?

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Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT

Dr. Heather Browne PsyD, LMFT helps people recognize the power of communication.  It is one of our most important skills that we have, and yet we don’t consider our understanding, approach, belief, and therefore, miss our possibilities.  Living with a paranoid schizophrenic mother gave Dr. Heather a unique and powerful awareness that no one has the same reality, though we believe we do.  Utilizing this revolutionary awareness has allowed her to transform communication within self and within all other types of relationship.  This is the hidden key to acceptance.  And this is her mission to share.

As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy.  She is a TedX Speaker and Keynote Speaker. Her couple’s communication book will be out 1/24. She is published in hundreds of journals, has an active YouTube channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine,  Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today.  She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops! Simply go to her website!
https://www.drheatherbrowne.com/