By Jerry Zezima I like to think I’m hot. I like to think I’m cool, too. In reality, I am neither — unless I have to stick a big, heavy air conditioner in the bedroom window and another in the office window, in which case, if I even survive, I am both. For the past […]
By Jerry Zezima Since my cardiologist put me on a Mediterranean diet, I have been looking forward to a daily meal of spaghetti and meatballs or a few slices of pepperoni pizza. Instead, I get the uneasy feeling I will be eating prodigious quantities of another Italian-sounding food: zucchini. To put it mildly, I am […]
By Jerry Zezima When it comes to croquet, a leisurely game that sounds like it involves chickens, I cannot mend my wicket ways. That’s because I am not very good at it. Proof came when my wife, Sue, who makes delicious chicken croquettes and recently bought a croquet set, soundly defeated me in a backyard […]
By Jerry Zezima As a geezer who can barely make it up the dozen steps in my house without getting winded, I never thought I would make it up and down 2,500 steps at a baseball stadium without keeling over, being carted off the field and finishing the season on the disabled list. But I […]
By Jerry Zezima I do windows. They’re a pain in the neck, especially if I stick my neck out the window to clean a pane, but spring has sprung and, even though I am no spring chicken, I have to spring into action to do the spring cleaning that gives me a window into my […]
By Jerry Zezima In case I am run out of the country, which is probably inevitable but would give me a great reason to have my own travel show, I just renewed my passport. “Now I can visit my mother,” I told Jenn, a very nice postal employee who helped me and my wife, Sue, […]
By Jerry Zezima I have a bone to pick with the slobs who have been dumping chicken bones and other garbage on our front lawn. But make no bones about it, I will catch these birdbrains because my wife, Sue, and I recently installed a home security system to capture their fowl deeds. This is […]
By Jerry Zezima Most people would say — especially in the winter, when insects are vacationing in Florida — that they wouldn’t hurt a fly. Not my wife. Sue wouldn’t hurt anything else, including me, even though I’m the biggest pest in the house, but she doesn’t like flies. Or ants. Or spiders. Or any […]
By Jerry Zezima Romance is in my blood. And I recently proved it by taking my wife for bloodwork. On our anniversary. It was the most romantic thing I have done for Sue since I took her to a landfill on our anniversary four years ago. I’m surprised she didn’t leave me there. It’s a […]
By Jerry Zezima If the remains of Jimmy Hoffa are ever found, ending a nearly half-century search for the notorious union boss, I know just where they will be: My office. That’s because I am in the middle of one of the biggest cleanups of all time, one that not only rivals the most ambitious […]
