By Jerry Zezima Because my column is the greatest thing since sliced bread, which still is not as great as cold beer, I have as my special guest today Dr. Sigmund Fritz, bestselling author of the classic, iconic and highly questionable book “On the Fritz: How to Spot a Narcissist by the Greatest Psychoanalyst of […]

By Jerry Zezima There is an ottoman empire in our house. That’s because my wife, Sue, ordered yet another ottoman. It was recently delivered and put in the family room to replace the old ottoman, which was not discarded but instead was pushed against the wall, making three ottomans (ottomen?) in the same room. There’s […]

By Jerry Zezima If you think your kids grow up fast, wait until you have grandchildren. I didn’t have to wait long for this revelation because my oldest grandchild is already a teenager. If that weren’t enough, she and my four other grandkids are more mature than I am. It was true not only when […]

By Jerry Zezima It does my heart good to know that my heart is in the right place (right now it’s in my office, where I am, too) and that I don’t need open-heart surgery. That’s why I was happy to have a heart-to-heart talk with a very nice ultrasound technician named Emily, who gave […]

By Jerry Zezima I am a man of vision — 20/30, to be exact. And my wife, Sue, is a woman of vision — also 20/30. So why can’t we find our glasses? Or keep track of how many pairs we have? Or use the right ones when we want to read, drive or watch […]

By Jerry Zezima 1976 was a spectacular year in the United States, with fireworks, parades and a nationwide celebration to mark a momentous event in American history. I refer, of course, to my unlikely start in journalism. There was also, on a much smaller scale, the Bicentennial, the 200th anniversary of our nation’s independence. Now, […]

By Jerry Zezima Garbage in, garbage out has been my motto through almost five decades of marriage. It’s only fair since I am the one who creates most of the trash in our humble household. So I have to take it out or I will be kicked to the curb, too. That’s why my wife, […]

By Jerry Zezima Blood, goes a familiar idiom, which can now be applied to this familiar idiot, is thicker than water. That’s why I needed approximately a gallon of water — as well as a box of Kleenex, two Band-Aids and a styptic pencil — to stanch the flow of blood that reddened my face […]

By Jerry Zezima Word of mouth has it that my mouth isn’t as big as everyone thinks and that my foot (size 11 wide) isn’t stuck in it. But the really good news is that an orthodontic resident said my teeth are in great shape because the retainers I use to keep my teeth in […]

By Jerry Zezima If I started my own plumbing business, I would be like the Three Stooges, who played plumbers in one of their classic movie shorts and ended up flooding a house. But if the drain in your shower ever gets clogged, I’m the guy to call. Unlike Moe, Larry and Curly, I somehow […]