Hey, it’s Julienne Ryan here! Let’s talk about a little thing I like to call the grand illusion of communication. You know, that pesky assumption we all make—that people are actually listening to us! We waltz into conversations thinking our words are sinking in, that our emails are being read, and that our brilliant insights are being mentally filed for future action. But let’s get real—our assumptions are just about as reliable as a New York street vendor’s promise that you’re buying a designer handbag.

The Communication Assumption Trap

Here’s the deal: we assume that because we sent a message, it was received, understood, and acted upon. That’s wishful thinking. The truth? People are distracted, overwhelmed, and moving at lightning speed. Just because we put something out there doesn’t mean it’s getting through.

We tell ourselves:

• “Of course, they read my email.”
• “I left a voicemail, so they’ll definitely call me back.”
• “I sent a holiday card, so now they’ll want to do business with me.”
• “They understood my message and know exactly what to do next.”

See what I mean? These assumptions are troublemakers. They set us up for frustration and disappointment.

The Digital Age Dilemma

Let me put it this way—take a walk through the streets of New York City (or any city, really). You’ll see thousands of people glued to their devices, moving through life in their own personal digital bubble. It’s not just a city thing—it’s everywhere! If we want our communication to break through, we need to wake up and acknowledge this reality.

How to Overcome Communication Assumptions

Instead of assuming, let’s get smart. Here’s how:

1. Confirm, Confirm, Confirm – Don’t just assume your message landed—ask! Follow up and make sure it was received and understood.
2. Be Clear and Concise – No fluff. No ambiguity. If you want people to get your message, make it easy for them.
3. Get Their Attention First – If someone is distracted, don’t keep talking into the void. Pause. Get their focus, then proceed.
4. Adapt to the Listener – Some people love email, others need a phone call, and some won’t respond unless you physically stand in front of them. Figure out what works and go with it.
5. Listen as Much as You Speak – Communication isn’t just about making your point—it’s about truly engaging with others. Listen, absorb, and respond accordingly.

Look, I get it—we all want to be heard. But if we keep assuming our words are magically sinking in, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. It’s time to ditch the assumptions and get real about how we communicate. Pause, pay attention, and make sure your message is truly getting through.

Because let’s be honest—if we don’t, we’ll just keep shouting into the void and wondering why no one is listening.

Now, go out there and communicate like a New Yorker—direct, clear, and with just the right amount of attitude!

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Julienne Ryan Humorist, Speaker, Trainer, Facilitator, Coach

Julienne B. Ryan began her professional career at age five when she did TV commercials and learned important things like “the teamsters always eat first,” her social security number and how to endorse checks for bank deposit.

Ryan studied psychology in college because she wanted to understand humans. She conducted her “field work” in a variety of roles, hearing the phrases “merger synergies, reorganizations, downsizing and rightsizing for change” more times than she cares to mention.

Later she enrolled in an Ivy League graduate school where she paid oodles of money to validate her prior on-the-job learning experiences. However, she did learn to name drop up-to-date theories and trendy psychologists with alarming ease.

Ryan evolved into working in “Talent Management,” a fancy way of saying “try to find people and keep them moderately happy.” With inadequate budgets and staff allocations, she had to find creative ways to encourage her staff to work effectively. These ranged from begging and borrowing resources, improvising childcare, telling stories and even giving snacks as rewards. She tried to convince herself that working a bazillion hours and “multi-tasking” equaled achievement.

Her work took place in cubicles, conference rooms or, with luck, in offices with a door. Occasionally she would make the time to emerge from her allotted real estate to really talk to people. Ryan learned something transformative in the process:

Yes, she was effective. But not because she used fancy theories – or gave great snacks. Ryan’s success, her staff believed, was a result of her uncanny knack for weaving storytelling with humor to motivate and encourage them. Crucially, they encouraged Ryan to de-emphasize “that normal HR stuff” and focus on bringing her unique storytelling skills to a broader stage.

Thanks to them, Ryan continues to collect, connect and tell stories in her work helping people find their “true selves in the world of work.

She is the author of the humorous, all true "The Learned It In Queens Communications Playbook - Winning Against Distraction!".that now includes a workbook and is available at booksellers across the globe..

She is a guest contributor to The Procurement Foundry, LifeBlood, and the global storytelling community.

Certifications include
Accumatch (BI) Behavior Intelligence
Narativ Applied Storytelling Methodologies
Collective Brains – Mentorship Methodologies