Thom Deleuw’s story reflects dedication and a father’s love. After a 34-year career in law enforcement, Thom found his true purpose when his son, Jack, had a serious motorcycle accident that left him paralyzed from the chest down. Thom became Jack’s full-time caregiver, viewing it as a "willing obligation" highlighting their strong bond.
Thom’s journey has been marked by resilience and adaptability. He prepared for the “new role” by taking Online Courses and utilizing the VA caregiver support program, ensuring he was equipped to provide the specialized care Jack required. Despite the challenges, Thom maintains a positive outlook, emphasizing that the work doesn’t "seem so bad" when you’re caring for someone you love so deeply. His willingness to take on the role, rather than outsourcing it, speaks volumes about his unwavering commitment to his son’s well-being.
Throughout their journey, Thom and Jack have faced setbacks, including a second motorcycle accident that left Jack paralyzed from the sternum down. Yet, their unbreakable spirit shines through, with Thom expressing pride in Jack’s determination to regain his mobility and independence. The duo’s shared sense of humor and camaraderie have been instrumental in navigating the ups and downs, demonstrating the power of a father-son relationship rooted in unconditional love and support.
About Thom:
Thom was born on December 8, 1954, in Norfolk, Virginia, and was raised in a middle-class family where hard work was valued. After spending his early years in Virginia, he moved to Florida for two years before returning to North Carolina, where he graduated from high school in Greensboro in 1973.
With aspirations of becoming a police officer, Thom joined the Army in November 1973 and attended military police school. His first duty station was in West Berlin, Germany, during the time the Berlin Wall was still up, which proved to be a significant adventure.
After three years, Thom returned home, briefly pursued a golf career, and worked as an assistant golf pro before becoming a police officer in Portsmouth, Virginia. In 1984, he moved back to North Carolina, where he began his long and rewarding career in law enforcement, eventually meeting his wife while on duty.
Thom’s life took another turn when he became a dedicated father to his son, Jack. Their bond deepened over the years, especially after Thom gained full custody when Jack was 12. Jack followed in his father’s footsteps and enlisted in the Army, embarking on his own journey that included both triumphs and challenges.
Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. She’s the peacekeeper. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. She’s the athlete. The rebel responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the bus stop.
After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing much time on caring for the kids.
The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years.
In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Our rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan.
Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey.
In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope.
