A common worry many adult children express about aging parents is that the parents are alone and it’s time they got some help. The kids are worried because of changes in the parent’s health, mobility or memory problems. The aging parent may not agree that there is anything to worry about, and this, of course, leads to resistance. Assisted living is something adult children frequently mention as a solution to their worries. But is it? There are pros and cons to consider and the family needs to understand what assisted living is and what it isn’t. On a personal note, I had a 96 year old mother-in-law... Continue Reading
Posts Tagged With ‘ elderly ’
Most of us probably know someone who can’t hear very well and doesn’t use hearing aids. It can be frustrating trying to have a conversation with that person. particularly in a group setting, like a dinner table or in a restaurant. They say “what?” and you repeat, but they still don’t hear you much. Can you do anything about this? Maybe. It depends on why some aging parents will or won’t accept wearing hearing aids. Why do folks resist hearing aids? Hearing aids used to cost thousands of dollars and Medicare never did cover them. You had to get an in-person test and a prescription. You... Continue Reading
The types of long-term care located in various communities are largely driven by what their oldest residents can afford. This has created stark differences in what’s available to White and minority retirees, a new study finds. Assisted living facilities, despite the high cost, have been the fastest-growing part of the long-term care industry over the past 20 years. In the cities and suburbs, where the vast majority of Americans live, more of these facilities are located in predominantly White communities. Adult day care centers, at less than half the price of assisted living, have also expanded... Continue Reading
COVID has moved from a central place in our lives to a risk that, while still important to heed, has moved out of the foreground. One thing we will not forget, however, is COVID’s toll on nursing homes and other long-term care facilities, where the virus has killed more than 200,000 older Americans and staff. The tragedy also played out in nursing homes in Canada, where the deaths received high-profile coverage in the news media, just as they did in this country. A survey of Canadians at the end of 2020, while COVID was still raging, indicates that the pandemic caused major changes in their thinking... Continue Reading
Your aging parent may have demanded something from you long ago: “Promise you’ll never put me in a home!” And you may have promised that. Perhaps you never thought through the implications. For elders who saw what healthcare was like before Medicare in 1965, their fears are founded in what things looked like then: unregulated warehouses for old people. Assisted living did not yet exist. Choices were few and none of them looked like anything other than what descriptions they were given. These included “God’s waiting room”, “a place you wait to die”, “hell hole” “it’s a bunch... Continue Reading
“Is it medically necessary for a person to be able to chew?” Dr. Lisa Simon, a physician and dentist at the Harvard School of Dental Medicine, asks. This is a serious question for older Americans in fragile health. I know a 93-year-old man whose teeth problems make it extremely difficult for him to eat meat and many other foods on the dinner table. Two-thirds of retirees do not have dental insurance, which means they may decide to forgo getting expensive dental care. The importance of dental care to nutrition and health is also an equity issue for older Blacks and low-income retirees, who are... Continue Reading
Can you imagine your aging parents losing their independence? It might be the conversation they don’t want to have with you. Will you, the adult child bring up this subject? What we see here at AgingParents.com is that when no one talks about it, the sudden costs of caring for them can overwhelm all but the most financially secure. Parents are unprepared and their adult children become very uncomfortable with the prospect of having to help support their aging loved ones. Sudden costs happen when a parent falls, or has a stroke and becomes disabled. Anything unexpected can trigger the need for... Continue Reading
Hannah Boulton defies the stereotype of the lonely retiree longing for companionship during the holidays. But after two-plus years of a pandemic, even this dynamic former nurse who’s lived on three continents started feeling a little isolated. Ally Brooks and Hannah Boulton Then she met Ally Brooks, a high school senior, through the Sages and Seekers program at the senior center in Duxbury, Massachusetts, in September. The program, modeled on a national nonprofit’s workshop, paired up seven retirees with seven high school seniors. It was such a success – the program was Boulton’s’ idea... Continue Reading
Families are frustrated. When someone thinks a person is taking financial advantage of an aging parent, the public message is an urge to report to Adult Protective Services, or equivalent. APS, sometimes called by other names, is a local government entity tasked with investigating complaints about elder abuse and neglect. After I hear families describe their distress over the abuse itself, they complain of another frustration. No prosecution of the perpetrator happens. The crime of financial abuse of elders is rampant and growing. People are living longer and they become more vulnerable with age.... Continue Reading
Scams targeting our aging loved ones never seem to stop. Now that thieves can spoof the recipient of a call by showing a “real” number on caller ID, it’s easier than ever for them to intimidate your aging parent. The way this evil game works is this: the caller has your aging parent’s telephone number and knows your parent to be at least of Social Security age. They buy this data. The caller immediately tells your loved one in an authoritative voice that her Social Security number has been blocked. Of course, this draws the expected reaction from most people. What should I do? They are... Continue Reading