Dear Barbara, My mother is 84 with multiple medical issues and increasing cognitive impairment. She has in the past and even now expresses that she no longer wants to keep “exiting” and doesn’t know why she is still alive. I don’t know how to help her. I hear this frequently from families as their person […]
Dear Barbara, my friends are getting terrible diagnoses. The women I am seeing are way too young to die. How do they make the decision to throw everything at their disease in the form of treatments that offer the low odds they will survive and poor quality of living during the treatment time or to […]
Dear Barbara, I live with a friend who has non curative cancer. I want to learn how to embrace this as something beautiful. We are such a death denying society your question startled me. We tend to only see the ugly through our fear filled eyes so I had to really think about my response. […]
Dear Barbara, I was just diagnosed with cancer. I am a hospice nurse and I know too much about severe illness. I am terrified. How do I prepare myself and family for the fact that I could be dying? I’m sorry you are facing life threatening challenges. It is even more challenging for you being […]
Dear Barbara, My husband just passed away. He suffered for several years after his diagnosis. He was in and out of the hospital most of this year. He had been on hospice 6 days. This is a version of letters I receive frequently. A person has been diagnosed with a life threatening illness, received various […]
Dying isn’t about the disease a person has. It is about the emotional, communal response to the person dying from the disease. It doesn’t require medical intervention. It requires comfort care and communal guidance. Comfort care is meeting the physical needs—nutrition and knowing when it is okay to stop concentrating on food. Comfort care is […]
Dear Barbara, What is the best way to explain to families/caregivers the “why” behind end of life daily visits? How can I help my nurses increase their compliance visits when they report family refuses visits? An interesting question. I find it hard to imagine families refusing visits. Most are so frightened of the responsibility of […]
Dear Barbara, I am interested in starting a caregiver support group, any ideas? Also, I’ve been hearing a lot about End of Life doulas, can you tell me more and how to become one. The first question I have to ask is, what are your qualifications to run a support group? Just wanting to conduct […]
Someone recently pointed out to me that I seemed overly critical of hospice in an interview on a podcast, that I was “turning my back on hospice.” I want to clarify my thoughts about hospice in today’s environment. Yes, I talk about how understaffed and overworked the existing staff is in many hospices. I am […]
Dear Barbara, I recently found out I am to be the Power of Attorney for my parents (who are in their 80s). I am interested in resource material that can guide me in how to discuss end of life wishes with them. They are healthy. First, there are two kinds of Power of Attorney. One addresses […]
