Posts Tagged With ‘ Aging parents ’

Everywhere we look, there is media focused on how to have a great retirement. No wonder. 10,000 people a day are turning 65. The emphasis is largely on urging you to get financial advice so you can feel “secure” and “reach your goals” all suggesting that these are the components of a happy retirement. But is that all there is to it? Of course, saving and controlling spending are essential to protect against running out of money but there is far more to a satisfying retirement than your finances. Generally, financial advisors and managers do not address the subject of a healthy retirement... Continue Reading

Hearing, memory, and mobility all going at once: the aging triple whammy. We see it with Walter, 91, a very accomplished CEO in his day. He has always been a take-charge guy. But now, he has a severe hearing loss which limits his life considerably. He hates hearing aids and won’t wear them. He rejects using a cell phone because of it, and he can barely hear on a regular landline phone. His memory is going, and fast. He does not like to admit this. He never wanted help. Accepting that he forgets a lot means that he would actually have to ask for help. Further, he is now having trouble walking.... Continue Reading

When an aging parent is diagnosed with dementia of any kind, it can be devastating and confusing to the family. For some, there is denial: ”It’s not that bad, I don’t see anything wrong with her, and let’s just let things stay the same for now.” For others, there is overreacting and trying to push the aging parent into a care facility before that may be needed, just because of assumptions about dementia. Family fights over these things, such as we address at AgingParents.com, are not unusual. As the disease affects each person in an individual way, it is impossible to generalize much... Continue Reading

Your aging parent may have demanded something from you long ago: “Promise you’ll never put me in a home!” And you may have promised that. Perhaps you never thought through the implications. For elders who saw what healthcare was like before Medicare in 1965, their fears are founded in what things looked like then: unregulated warehouses for old people. Assisted living did not yet exist. Choices were few and none of them looked like anything other than what descriptions they were given. These included “God’s waiting room”, “a place you wait to die”, “hell hole” “it’s a bunch... Continue Reading

Gertie is a sharp 89, with a history of being well organized in her life. She is widowed, and was living alone. During Covid, one of her four daughters and her husband moved in with her, a plan that was supposed to be temporary. Gertie needed a little help with shopping and transportation, as she had recently given up driving. As isolation continued, Gertie came to depend more on her daughter, Melissa, who had a full-time job, but with her husband, created a good schedule for Gertie. It worked for all. Gertie was happy not only for the company but for all the help with shopping, cooking, cleaning,... Continue Reading

You may see some public notices from governments, nonprofit agencies and consumer organizations warning about increased scammer activity lately. There is a lot of focus on internet and phone scams — everything from fake threats to pay money or fake enticements to get a “deal” on something. People are shopping online and scammers are looking for targets. Any holiday will do. Scammers want to seize the moment when people want to purchase things for others. These crooks are quite good at what they do. Even the smartest, most savvy elders can be caught off guard at the right moment. Recently,... Continue Reading

The start line of the annual race in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, was crowded. A rain delay had participants just waiting. I looked over at a woman next to me, and said “hello”. She was friendly and we had a conversation. When the announcer asked who was celebrating a birthday, we both raised our hands. I mentioned that I was happy to be a participant with an upcoming birthday. “Me too!” she said. I asked what birthday it was. “I’ll be 81 tomorrow” she replied! I was so excited to meet her. She looked to be about my size and we are both seniors. We even have the same first name,... Continue Reading

As most people at retirement age are looking at a few chronic health conditions, it isn’t surprising that most are taking medications. According to astonishing 87-year-old Ann Kahl, a fitness guru in Florida, we’re using these drugs to do what we ought to be doing ourselves in many cases, just by being more active. Ms. Kahl is a runner, triathlete, fitness coach and leader with a message: quit whining and just do it. She believes that your doctors want to keep prescribing drugs with all their side effects to have these things take the place of a healthier lifestyle. Maybe she’s right. Keep... Continue Reading

The law in any state allows a person with assets to do whatever they want with them in a will or trust. Many adult children, however, believe that they are entitled to inherit their aging parent’s wealth. This sense of entitlement can cause ugly fights after the elder passes, particularly when the family members who do not get an equal distribution of the inherited assets are shocked to learn of this. Many aging parents consider that distributing their wealth equally among  their adult children is the right thing to do. But the law does not require “fair” when the person making the will... Continue Reading

People used to fear a diagnosis of cancer above all. That has been replaced by fear of a diagnosis of dementia, particularly Alzheimer’s disease. Most people know someone who has it or did in the past. There is good reason to be afraid. It’s a difficult, expensive and sometimes very long journey with this disease. Furthermore, it can create a hellish existence for those taking care of their demented loved ones. Their behavior can be difficult, unpredictable and extremely unmanageable for some. Researchers all over the world study every aspect of Alzheimer’s disease (AD) and related dementias.... Continue Reading