1. EP 66: Real Confidence- 5 Phrases that Crush Confidence Alyssa Dver 19:58

I’m going to call BS on something we probably all heard as kids: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. 

I know we were all taught this rhyme to shut bullies up, but words do matter, and we don’t always appreciate how much.

Especially when they’re coming out of our mouths and we mean well – we truly do – but how they land has the opposite effect.

I’m as guilty of this as anyone. And it took me a really long time to realize how my good intentions could take someone’s confidence down instead of building it up, not just because of what I said, but how I said it and in what context. 

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’ve zeroed in on five phrases that have the ability to kill our confidence when we hear them, and kill someone else’s when we say them. 

These phrases seem benign but even when they’re offered in the spirit of support or helpfulness, can create fear. Fear of failure, regret or rejection – the three fears that really make us all question our confidence. 

Listen in to find out what the phrases are, what you can say instead and/or respond confidently when someone says them to you. That way we can all try and be a little more compassionate to ourselves and to other people who do intend well, but don’t always have the right words to tell us.

Alyssa Dver Confidence Crusader & Neuro Nerd

Confidence Crusader, Neuro Nerd and Success Equalizer, Alyssa Dver leads the American Confidence Institute and the global association ERG Leadership Alliance that directly helps all workplaces be more diverse, equitable and inclusive. She received a Stevie Award for Thought Leadership, has two TEDx talks, hosts the popular podcasts Real Confidence and Distilled Confidence, and authored 8 expert-endorsed books including “Confidence is a Choice: Real Science. Superhero Impact.” and “ERG Intelligence.” She can be seen delivering 150+ talks each year, coaching at MIT and Wharton innovation centers and as spokesperson for both L’Oreal’s IT Cosmetics brand and The American Distilling Institute.