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February 14th, 2025

The Conflict Specialist – Stop it Before it Actually Comes / Dr. Bernadette Atanga || DPTSP #083 || David

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David M. WebbThe Conflict Specialist - Stop it Before it Actually Comes / Dr. Bernadette Atanga || DPTSP #083 || David
  1. The Conflict Specialist - Stop it Before it Actually Comes / Dr. Bernadette Atanga || DPTSP #083 || David David M. Webb 34:04

In this episode of the podcast, David interviews Dr. Bernadette Atanga, a physician and Mental Health expert with a focus on empowering men through life’s challenges, particularly conflict. Dr. Bernadette shares her extensive experience working with men globally and discusses the unique struggles they face due to societal expectations of emotional suppression. She highlights the importance of mental health in physical well-being, explaining how unresolved emotions often manifest in physical ailments. The conversation delves into the cultural norms surrounding masculinity, the lack of support systems for men, and the need for a men’s empowerment movement.

Dr. Bernadette introduces her “PEACE” method, an acronym encompassing Patience, Empathy, Awareness, Communication, and Emotional Intelligence, as a framework to help men heal and rebuild after conflicts like divorce. She emphasizes the significance of acknowledging emotional pain, embracing vulnerability, and redefining masculinity to lead with authentic strength. The discussion also covers co-parenting challenges, the importance of maintaining healthy Relationships with children post-divorce, and why patience and self-discovery are crucial before entering new relationships.

Dr. Bernadette shares insights from her upcoming book, Beneath the Armor: Eight Practical Steps for Men to Embrace Vulnerability and Lead with Strength, which provides practical guidance for men to heal and rediscover their identity. The conversation concludes with a powerful reminder that healing starts with a choice and that men must prioritize their own well-being to truly thrive as leaders in their families and communities.

Top 10 Most Important Points from the Interview:

  1. Emotional Suppression in Men: Societal norms discourage men from processing emotions, which often leads to internalized pain and externalized anger.

  2. Mental Health and Physical Health Link: Emotional Stress, such as that caused by divorce, frequently manifests in physical health issues like high blood pressure or unmanaged Diabetes.

  3. Unresolved Childhood Trauma: Many men suppress childhood pain, which resurfaces during life crises like divorce, affecting their healing journey.

  4. The “PEACE” Framework: Dr. Bernadette’s method—Patience, Empathy, Awareness, Communication, and Emotional Intelligence—helps men navigate conflicts and heal.

  5. Co-Parenting Advice: Parents must prioritize their children’s well-being over personal conflicts, focusing on long-term relationships rather than short-term power struggles.

  6. Redefining Masculinity: Men need to move beyond traditional definitions of masculinity tied to dominance and provision, embracing vulnerability and balance.

  7. Healing Begins with Truth and Choice: Honest self-reflection and a conscious decision to heal are foundational steps for recovery post-divorce.

  8. Cultural Universality of Masculine Struggles: Regardless of geography or ethnicity, men globally face similar challenges around vulnerability and societal expectations.

  9. Impact of Divorce on Identity: Divorce often leads to a loss of identity, requiring men to redefine themselves not only for their own well-being but also for their families and communities.

  10. Avoiding Rebound Relationships: Jumping into new relationships too soon after divorce often hinders healing and can lead to further emotional complications. Fellas!!!!

Dr. Bernadette Contacts:

Linkedin

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I really enjoy being a boomer. I started a divorce recovery podcast (The Divorce Devil Podcast) in 2016 and another one especially for the men in their divorce recovery (Don't Pick the Scab Podcast). Love doing boomer things - Pickleball, riding my mountain and road bikes, and hiking.

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