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Overcoming Adversity Together: A Navy Chaplain’s Unwavering Support for His Wounded Warrior Wife

As a senior Navy Chaplain, Bob Evan’s calling has always been to serve and care for others, whether it was his troops, fellow service members, or the wounded warriors he encountered. When his fiancée, Gretchen, was severely injured by a mortar round in Afghanistan, Bob’s role shifted from chaplain to devoted caregiver.

Despite his extensive training and experience as a pastoral counselor, Bob candidly admits that he struggled at times to provide the proper support and care for Gretchen as she navigated life-changing injuries, including deafness. However, Bob’s unwavering love and commitment to Gretchen never wavered. He made it clear that he would accompany her on this new journey, no matter the challenges. Bob’s journey as a caregiver is one of resilience, compassion, and a deep understanding that true Caregiving requires listening, learning, and loving the person you are caring for.

As Bob shares his insights and lessons learned, it’s clear that his role as a caregiver has profoundly impacted his own spiritual and personal Growth. He has become an advocate for greater support and resources for military caregivers, recognizing the vital importance of self-care and finding respite to be an effective, loving caregiver.

About Bob:

A graduate of Bowdoin College (A.B.-1976), Princeton Theological Seminary (M.Div.-1979), Candler School of Theology (Th.M.-1992), and the Naval War College (M.A.-2003) Bob Evans is a Veteran with more than 25 years of service in the United States Navy where he served until his Retirement in 2008 as a Chaplain and rose to the rank of CAPTAIN. He entered the United States Navy by direct commission in December 1982.
During his tenure he served as a trusted Senior Leader for the Commander, U.S. Fleet Forces Commander and Commander, U.S. Atlantic Fleet; Commander, Joint Forces Command; Commander, Combined Forces Command-Afghanistan; and Commander Naval Forces Europe, Africa, and Southwest Asia. He was awarded the Bronze Star for his service in Afghanistan.
Bob commenced his career with the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) in May of 2011 as Chief, Chaplain Service at Aleda E. Lutz VA Medical Center in Saginaw, MI. He came to the Atlanta VA in January 2013 as the Chief, Chaplain Service, but then was tapped to serve as Acting Assistant Director while maintaining his Chief duties. In February 2014, he was appointed Assistant Director of the Atlanta VA Health Care System. Subsequently, he was called to serve as Interim Associate Director/Chief Operating Officer of the Dorn VA Health Care System, Columbia, SC for six months during which time he selected as the Associate Director/Chief Operating Officer for the Western North Carolina VA Health Care System, Asheville, NC. He served in this position from January 2017 until his retirement from Federal Service in December 2019.
Now retired, he is a devoted caregiver to his wife, who lost her hearing in combat, an ardent advocate for Veterans, their loved ones, and all those who serve the common good. He regularly seeks opportunities to listen to others, help them discover their deepest passions, and assist them in shaping their dreams into a life of purpose.
Bob now resides in Northlake, TX with his beloved wife, Gretchen, and their two service dogs, Rusty, and Kermit.

JJ Elliott Hill Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver

Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. She’s the peacekeeper. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. She’s the athlete. The rebel responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the bus stop.

After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing much time on caring for the kids.

The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years.

In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Our rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan.

Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey.

In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope.

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