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From Soldier to Caregiver : A Veteran's Son Battles Dementia with Love and Mindfulness

  1. From Soldier to Caregiver : A Veteran's Son Battles Dementia with Love and Mindfulness JJ, Natalie, and Zander Keig 56:00

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Zander Keig grew up in an unconventional household, as his father explored alternative spiritual practices like Meditation and Yoga alongside his career in engineering. Zander was exposed to these ideas from a young age. When COVID lockdowns began, Zander and his wife had to care for his father full-time while working remotely, which caused Stress and isolation. Zander's father's health rapidly declined after moving to assisted living.

When his father was scammed out of $18,000, Zander realized something was wrong as his father had always been very conscientious but no longer recognized scams.  Zander would move his father to Florida, taking on the role of primary caregiver for his elderly father, who was living with dementia. 

Despite the challenges of caring for his declining father, Zander tapped into various support systems, attending both Grief and all-male caregiver support groups. During visits, Zander focused on sensory experiences over memories of visiting his father. Today, Zander is committed to helping other LGBTQ caregivers by sharing his story and resources through consultative services.

About Zander:

Zander Keig is the founder of Keig Consulting, LLC and an award-winning speaker, educator, and author, earning many distinguishing accolades for his work, including the 2020 WPATH Harry Benjamin Distinguished Educator, 2020 NASW National Social Worker of the Year, and 2018 NASW CA Social Worker of the Year. Zander has earned a BA in Speech/Interpersonal Communication (1999), an MS in Conflict Analysis and Resolution/College Student Personnel Administration (2003), an MTS in Theological Systems (2004), and an MSW in Clinical Social Work (2012). He has subject-matter expertise in workplace conflict mitigation, implementing social care services, illuminating transgender experiences, and delivering dynamic personal wellness and well-being* webinars. Zander is a fifty-something-year-old first-generation American of Mexican heritage (Latino), a post-transition transsexual man, a Coast Guard Veteran, a childhood TBI survivor, a neurodivergent first-generation college graduate, and the primary caregiver of his elderly Veteran father living with Dementia. To build support and awareness for LGBTQ family caregivers, Zander co-founded the LGBTQ Caregiver Center in June 2021, served on the National Alliance of Caregiving M

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JJ Elliott Hill Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver

Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. She’s the peacekeeper. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. She’s the athlete. The rebel responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the bus stop.

After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing much time on caring for the kids.

The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years.

In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Our rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan.

Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey.

In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope.

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