Looking Back With Acceptance and Resolve
There are very few things that we can do during the last week in December to change the quality of the outcome of the year. Hopefully, not many of us would want to change it to any great extent, but I do feel that it’s appropriate to have a level of discontent about the past in order for us to resolve to do better in the future.
That’s what New Year’s resolutions are all about – resolving to make positive changes Moving forward even if we are generally proud of how we’ve functioned in the past.
The fact that we start using a new calendar does not automatically assure that anything dramatic will be noticeable between December 31st and January 1st. The fact is that most changes that occur are spread out throughout the year. Relatively few people start new jobs or get engaged or move into a new home on the first day of January – although some do.
I think that it is best to see the new year as part of an evolution in our growth that is constantly taking place. But it is a unique time of the year, and a good time to look both backward and forward. I recommend that you do so in this order:
1. Take the time to identify and appreciate your accomplishments. Personal growth is a constantly evolving process that should be recognized and appreciated. By taking this step first, it prevents you from dwelling on what has gone wrong before you have created the context of appreciating what has gone right.
2. Review your disappointments and non-successes. As a human being, you will have these. But they are only a part of you, and they don’t define you as a person.
3. Ask whether there are things that you have learned from your disappointments and non-successes that you can implement going forward, or are there things or activities or people that you should move on from?
4. Ask yourself whether there are some totally new goals, challenges, and habits that you want to implement – and ask whether you have a good reason for doing so, and are you motivated to do the work to make the change?
5. Resolve to get past the disappointments of the past while committing to a course of action for the future – and a way of measuring success. There are different ways of measuring it – ranging from participation in a new habit or activity to developing a new high-level skill. Every change does not have to be dramatic or evaluated according to a grading system.
6. Recognize that the new year is not the only time to make a change and give yourself permission to delay a change that is neither life altering or a high priority for you now. You have 365 days to revisit the subject and make the change later – or not at all.
Hopefully, these principles will enable you to have a happy, productive, and less stressful start to the new year.
Happy New Year!
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