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It’s Heavier than You think!

People think Grief just drifts away – like blowing dandelion seeds into the wind and watching them drift away.

Loss is a topic that often gets brushed aside or misunderstood, but its impact is profound and undeniable. When you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, you know firsthand the weight of Grief. It’s not something that can be easily shaken off or forgotten. It lingers, sometimes quietly, sometimes overwhelmingly, but always present.

Grief isn’t just about Moving on or forgetting those who have passed. It’s about carrying their memory, honouring their life, and navigating the complex emotions that come with loss. It’s about finding a way to live with the ache in your heart while still finding pockets of peace and meaning. It’s about understanding that healing doesn’t mean forgetting, but rather finding a new way to hold space for your loved ones in your heart.

For a long time, society has told us that Grief should be something we get over quickly and that we should move on and return to our “normal lives “as soon as possible. But the truth is, Grief doesn’t work like that. It’s not something that can be neatly packaged up and put away. It’s messy, it’s unpredictable, and it’s different for everyone.

One of the biggest misconceptions about Grief is that it’s a linear process, that it follows a predictable path from pain to acceptance. But in reality, Grief is more like a rollercoaster. Some days you might feel like you’re Moving forward, only to be knocked back down again by a wave of sadness or longing. And that’s okay. It’s all part of the journey.

I want you to know that your Grief is valid. Your pain is real, and it’s okay to feel it in all its intensity. You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. You don’t have to rush through the grieving journey just because others expect you to. Take your time. Be gentle with yourself. And know that it’s okay to ask for help if you need it.

Connect with others who have experienced loss. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone and that others know the pain you’re dealing with. So reach out. And if you feel like you need professional help, don’t hesitate to seek it out. There’s no shame in asking for help when you need it.

In our Grief, it’s easy to get lost in the pain and yearning. Yes, it changes us. It leaves its mark on our hearts and our souls. Yet it also transforms us in profound and unexpected ways. We learn to live with a heart that’s been broken open, knowing that even in our deepest pain, we will survive and there is still hope, still love, and moments of joy.

So if you’re struggling with the weight of Grief, know that you’re not alone. Your pain is valid, your feelings are real, and there is healing to be found, even in your sorrow. Keep holding on to the memories of your loved ones. Keep honoring their legacy. And know that they will always be with you.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and there’s no timeline that you have to follow. Some people find solace in talking about their loved ones, sharing stories and memories that keep their spirit alive. Others may find comfort in solitude, taking time to reflect and process their emotions in their own way. Whatever path you choose, know that it’s your journey, and you have the right to grieve in a way that feels right for you.

One of the challenges of Grief is the pressure to “move on” or “get over it.” Society often sends the message that we should be strong, put on a brave face, and get back to our normal lives as quickly as possible. But Grief doesn’t adhere to these expectations. It’s a deeply personal experience that requires patience, compassion, and Self-Care. It’s okay to have days when you feel overwhelmed when the pain feels too heavy to bear. On those days, give yourself permission to rest, to cry, to seek comfort in whatever form you need.

When we lose someone we love, we also lose the future we envisioned with them. We lose the dreams, the plans, and the shared experiences that will never come to be. These secondary losses can be just as painful as the primary loss, and it’s important to acknowledge and honour them. Allow yourself to grieve not just the person, but the life and the future you lost with them.

It’s okay to feel the pain, to acknowledge the loss, and to take the time you need to heal.

Maria Belanic Grief and Mental Wellness Coach

Maria Belanic is a Grief and Mental Wellness Coach who has made her purpose to be a disruptor in shifting the conversation around grief. Maria supports individuals in their grief journey with the awareness that there is no need to "be fixed" or "get over it.

It's not about forcing yourself to move on, but rather about discovering a path that is suitable for you to move forward when you feel ready. Maria is the creator of the 5 Pillar of Care framework which includes accepting self-compassion, releasing blame and shame, and tuning into your intuition. Grief can impact all aspects of your life, affecting the connection between your body, mind, and soul.

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