Grief is complex! It’s messy, overwhelming, and doesn’t follow any rules. One moment you’re okay, the next, you’re not sure how to breathe. If you’re reading this, chances are you know this feeling all too well. Maybe you’ve recently had a loved one pass away or even years ago, and every day feels like a battle just to make it through. I get it. I’ve been there. And while I won’t pretend to have all the answers, I can offer you a small, but precious, gift: pockets of peace.

What Are Pockets of Peace?
Pockets of peace are those brief, fleeting moments where the pain of grief loosens its grip, even if just for a second. They’re the tiny slices of calm.  Think of them as breaths of fresh air, little breaks that give you just enough space to catch your breath and keep going.

When you’re in the thick of grief, these moments of respite are crucial. They’re like lifelines, helping you stay afloat. Finding and recognizing these pockets of peace can make the difference between feeling completely overwhelmed and managing to navigate through your day. It’s not about avoiding the pain but rather creating a balance where you can honour your grief while also finding moments of relief.

First, let’s acknowledge the reality: grief is hard. It’s the late-night tears, the empty seat at the table, the everyday reminders of what was. It’s heavy, and consuming, and at times, it feels never-ending. The truth is, grief changes you. It shifts your world on its axis, and it’s okay to feel lost in that.

But here’s another truth: in this darkness, there can also be light. It’s not about moving on or forgetting but about finding a way to live with your grief. This is where pockets of peace come in. They don’t erase the pain, but they give you moments where the weight is a little less, where you can breathe just a bit easier.

How to Find Your Pockets of Peace
Something that is often overlooked in the hustle and bustle of daily life is the small everyday things.

Have you ever considered the power of mundane, everyday tasks? Yes, the things you do on autopilot, like washing dishes, folding laundry, taking a shower or even brushing your teeth. These moments, seemingly insignificant, can become your pockets of peace.

Dishwashing Meditation: The next time you’re washing dishes, try to do it mindfully. Feel the warm water on your hands, notice the texture of the soap bubbles, and hear the clink of dishes. Focus on each sensation. It might sound simple, but this practice can ground you in the present moment, offering a surprising sense of calm.

Laundry Therapy: Folding laundry can be a peaceful ritual. As you smooth out each piece of clothing, take a moment to appreciate its texture, the colours, and even the memories attached to certain items. This simple act can provide a sense of order and control, creating a soothing routine.

Shower Sanctuary: Turn your shower into a sanctuary. Pay attention to the feeling of water cascading over you, the steam rising, the scent of your shampoo. Let this time be a retreat from the outside world, a private moment where you can simply be.

By turning these everyday activities into opportunities for mindfulness, you create pockets of peace throughout your day. They don’t require extra time or effort, just a shift in focus. Embrace these moments as chances to reconnect with yourself, even in the chaos of grief. These small, mindful practices can help you find a bit of calm in the most unexpected places.

I’ve walked this path myself. I’ve felt the gut-wrenching pain, the moments of despair, and the seemingly endless nights. Yet, I’ve also found those pockets of peace, and they’ve been my lifeline. They’ve helped me not just survive but start to rebuild and find meaning again.

Shifting the Focus
While the pain of grief is undeniable, shifting your focus to these moments of peace can be transformative. It’s about acknowledging the hurt but also giving yourself permission to experience joy, calm, and even hope. This shift isn’t about denying your pain but rather embracing the full spectrum of your emotions.

when you feel your attention drifting, bring it back to the now. What can you see, hear, or feel in this moment that brings a tiny bit of peace? It’s a practice, a continual return to the present, where you can find those moments of respite.

In your grief, it’s easy to feel isolated. But know that you’re not alone.  As a bereaved mom and grief coach I got you.   Together, we can navigate this journey, finding those pockets of peace.

If you’re looking for someone to walk alongside you, to help you find your pockets of peace, I’m here.