A recent social trend has lovely humans writing Love letters to their younger selves on reels. Upon reflection, the reels are equal part humble brag, Trauma bypassing and unrelenting need to have made big life leaps.
My current self, in midlife, does not want to look back, even for a coffee with my younger self. I’ve spent enough energy with my younger self to last a lifetime. I’m not interested in having coffee with her. She worked too much, without balance. When she wasn’t looking for a title or ego boosts at work, she was morbidly unclear on what she needed. She prioritized everyone else’s Health, role, Anxiety when it wasn’t her job. I’m so different than that person was pushed beyond her nervous system. Today, looking back is a disservice to my current-me.
(The only thing I’d like to do with my younger self is enjoy a Blue Barn Fattoush salad on Chestnut Street after a run from the golden gate).
Let’s keep it real- I’m also not meeting my future self for a smoothie. Looking ahead on repeat takes me out of my present gifts, lessons and fun. I’d much rather have coffee with my current self. She has taken care of her body, mind and connected back to the universal light force energy she denied in her twenties.
Trends are fun to view but staying in the moment can be slippery for many of us. here’s my Valentine’s Day self love Wisdom as my gift to you.
Here are my 3 Practical Pause Tools to stay with myself today, even when it might be easier to look backwards or forwards.
1- Stay in My DAY. It’s easy for me to scroll LinkedIn to see what I would be doing if I had been granted the promotion I deserved. Rather than playing ‘what if’, I take a morning minute to check the calendar of events in my day. I quickly assess what see what is aligned, fun, possibly frustrating, and what is important. Lean into all of it. If it’s all frustrating, I’ll do better tomorrow or next week to fill my day with what feeds my purpose.
2-Stay in My Body– My body is very chatty lately. Listening helps me uncover an issue no western doctor could have found. A recent added bonus to middle age is inability to digest dairy and red wine. Without tracking my gut – body reaction, I’d still be living on cheese and crackers for every meal.. My younger self was not physically intuitive, chugging coke, eating burritos, enjoying a lifetime of margaritas every weekend. Having coffee with Young Lynn would be a pointless body Exercise. Move on.
3- Stay in My Mess– Fixing things, process and people problems was my corporate superpower. It’s also exhausting. Today, my present day reality has a little productivity, a little mess, a lot of chores, many follow ups, clients, collaborations and a broken cup, a burnt toast. There’s always a splash of laughing and some fighting and some driving and some laundry. Roll with the tide of every day. Tomorrow it will be different in the best way.
Do you want to have a spot of tea with your younger self? I’ll pass and stay here.
