There’s a very specific kind of client I talk to all the time. She is competent, responsible, brilliant, problem solver and beyond capable. Unlike her male counterpart, she more than gets things done. Her Family, community and coworkers rely on her. She makes great Money, 401k matching and handles the benefits. She is the one who figures out sports, family vacations and likely dinner. OH HOLY HELL DINNER, does it ever end?
She fills out the forms, remembers the birthday, handles the bloody nose and reads the fine print at work when the analyst almost takes down a whole system with his lack of downstream impact governance.
From anyone’s point of view, her life looks full.
From her chair, she doesn’t feel abundant. She feels exhausted from the responsibility of the world on her soldiers.
She’s the Momanger for everyone’s careers but her own.
In childhood, we learned that abundance is a number in a bank account, a big house, a beautiful vacation, or the ability to “do whatever you want.” But many high-functioning women already know this isn’t true, because they have built successful, full, impressive lives and still feel like they can’t fully relax, forget Meditation or a deep breath.
Based on years of Coaching and working in Finance, I want to offer a different perspective.
Abundance is not just dollar bills but a mash up of support, Love, and breathing room.
Abundance is
having help, my bestie Kristine Gardner and I talk about it all of the time.
not being the only one who knows how everything works at work or home or for your kids or parents. Let’s be honest, I never know anyone’s passwords
Not being the emotional support person for every single person in your life. My client calls this being a work Den Mother.
A lot of women don’t actually want a completely different job or life or industry. In actuality, they want the same life, but with an abundance of trust in their support system, including their spouse
That’s abundance- trust, love, kindness, support.
One of the things I’ve noticed is that people build abundance in different ways, but we only talk about one version, the green-stuff-kind.
There are two zones to describe how our bodies want to feel good – Expansion Abundance vs. Safety Abundance.
Creating opportunities in spaces that feel vacant. Abundance through expansion.
starting new projects
taking risks and making sound business and personal investments
working on their big idea
visibility
creating new income streams
big moves and big changes like relocating
Feeling of Fullness, like a great meal abundance through safety:
saving money, reducing expenses
staycations, DIY home renovations
paying off loans
organizing and creating systems for work, childcare, family
we need both to have abundance even when one is more prominent.
Modern day Netflix or social superstars tend to glamorize expansion and completely overlook safety. But every stable, abundant life is built on both. If you only expand and never stabilize, you get chaos. If you only stabilize and never expand, you feel stuck.
Most women I know are very strong in one of these and exhausted because they think they’re supposed to be good at both all the time or at the same time.
I’ve started to think about this as an energy pattern or archetypes. Who doesn’t love a quiz! Different ways people naturally create, opportunity and support in their lives.
Visionary – The Goal-Driven Leader sees opportunities and big pictures other people don’t see yet.
Maverick – The Bold Trailblaze finds new paths, new places, new ways of doing things.
Status Seeker – The Ambitious Achiever builds, achieves, and creates success through goals, recognition, and Growth.
Alchemist – A Flow Finder understands timing, people, energy, and when to move.
Architect – The Strategic Builder manages all of their resources well, creating systems so everything actually works.
Giver – The Heart-Centered Creator takes care of people; because of that, families, teams, and communities thrive.
Survivor – The Steady Builder makes sure everything is actually okay; plans, prepares, and protects.
Avoider – The Simplicity Seeker protects peace, avoids chaos, and values a simple, steady life.
None of these are better than the others. But each type creates abundance in a different way, and each type burns out in a different way.
When clients don’t understand their way of creating abundance, they often try to build a life using someone else’s method, and it feels terrible even if it looks successful on paper.
Throw it all out – Think about Abundance as Energy. Instead of asking, “how do I make more money?”
– How do I create more support?
– How do I create aligned opportunities for money to come my way?
– How do I create more options?
– How do I create a life where I share the load?
Because a life where you are the only point of stability is not abundance. It’s pressure.
That is a form of wealth that doesn’t get talked about enough.
Stepping into a new role in my life, without a corporate title, I’ve embodied the idea that abundance is not about building a bigger life. Wealth is about sitting in the & (the and) of planning and joy, money and spending, risks and flow.
And that is a different kind of wealth, one that’s changed my mental load. For now, anyway.
Work with me 1.1 to find space for abundance.
www.lynnmull.com
