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Do employee complaints help or harm the workplace? It depends.

Like conflict itself, complaining has a bad reputation. That’s partly because we tend to think of the negative kind of complaints first. According to Alyson Meister and Nele Dael in their Harvard Business Review article about complaints, there are actually at least four different kinds of complaints: chronic, constructive, malicious, venting. How do you as a leader sort this out and use complaints to improve your workplace?

Be curious and assume good intentions (even if you don’t truly believe it).

If you assume bad intent with employee complaints, you basically turn off to what they have to say, and you can’t help them or the workplace. If you are curious and truly want to listen, you just might learn something that makes your workplace better. Even with the less positive categories of complaints, there could be useful information. But how do you approach complaints at work? How do you sort out the complaints and find the gold?

“A Complaint is Nothing More Than a Poorly Worded Request” — Sarah McVanel

David Hinkle on Unsplash

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Photo by David Hinkle on Unsplash

If you take the perspective, that a complaint is actually a request that isn’t worded well, then your job becomes to ask, with honest curiosity: What is the request hidden in this complaint? Is it really about what the complainer says or the words they use,  or is there a deeper issue? Can addressing it improve the workplace, or engage or support workers? Does this person, this worker need more support, information, help with a difficult situation? If it is about how the organization functions or work is assigned, is it appropriate and possible to implement a change?

Depending on the kind of complaint or the Clarity with which the complaint is articulated, you might have to work harder to understand and see the value. This is especially true if you get triggered by an accusation or if the true request is buried. But the best leaders can mine useful material from many complaints. Here are some ideas for finding what’s valuable  from the different types of complaints.

Chronic Complaining

Did you ever see the old SNL skits called The Whiners? Doug and Wendy Whiner, whined and complained their way non-stop through all kinds of situations in all kinds of settings, to the point of absurdity, as you’d expect of a Saturday Night Live skit. At work, people naturally don’t like being around chronic complainers. But what you want to assess: Is it a life stance? Or, is it a real complaint they are repeating over and over because it is important and not being addressed?  They might not feel empowered to offer suggestions so what they see that needs to be fixed comes out in a negative way. Or maybe it is their job they aren’t happy about. Do they feel overwhelmed? Underchallenged? Bullied or consumed with intractable conflict? Treated unfairly or receiving multiple microagressions? Or is it a bad habit that they need support to break? Only by making space to listen can you find out.

Venting

Venting is another style of complaints. As I said in an earlier blog post, The Value of Venting, venting can be a safety valve to release angry excess energy and move on to next steps. But if repeated over and over, it can also become chronic. Is it inner issues that someone needs support, perhaps in the form of Coaching, to examine and let go of or is there a genuine workplace compliant/grievance that needs to be addressed even if it wasn’t expressed in a optimal way?

Constructive complaining

The intention with constructive is to improve the workplace, but good intentions aren’t enough. This kind of complaint can feel self-righteous and easily trigger defensiveness. I know how intensely irritating it can be to work with someone, boss or colleague, who always thinks they know better. Even if they are right, you don’t always want to listen to them! The best approach is to feel your feelings without reacting/ exploding and then ask the same curious questions that I talked about earlier. Without taking on their negative judgements, an effective leader can ideally see if there are any useful suggestions.

Malicious (destructive) complaining

This is the most difficult kind of complaint to deal with. Malicious complainers are often people who thrive on chaos, conflict, and hostility to satisfy an inner urge or resentment or jealousy , get ahead by belittling others or deflect from their own deficiencies. They may also engage in bullying behaviors. This type of complaint is toxic and not generally useful. Still, although you must set boundaries and consequences with these folks, sometimes they can be turned to the positive and buried useful feedback may emerge.

Lorraine Segal has helped over 2000 leaders and others in organizations and corporations communicate more clearly, transform conflicts, and let go of resentments. The goal: to create a more harmonious and productive workplace.  Through her business, Conflict Remedy, Lorraine creates customized training and coaching programs for non-profit organizations, corporations, and government agencies and Sonoma State University. She was recently named one of the top 15 coaches in Santa Rosa by Influence Digest. She is a contributing author to the book, Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying. Her latest project, a memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an unexpected journey to love, joy, and miracles, is about her transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood. Find out more about the memoir here. Contact Lorraine through ConflictRemedy to request a free consultation for you and your organization or to sign up for her conflict remedy newsletter and blog.

Related blog post:  The Value of Venting

© 2024 Lorraine Segal ConflictRemedy.

The post Do Employee Complaints Help or Harm the Workplace? appeared first on Conflict Remedy.

Lorraine Segal Author, Presenter, Conflict Transformation Expert

After surviving the 50's and 60's, as well as twenty years in toxic academia as a tenured professor, Lorraine Segal was inspired to started her own business, Conflict Remedy (ConflictRemedy.com), happily offering DEIB informed teaching, coaching, blogging and consulting that promote workplace conflict transformation. She has helped over 2000 leaders in non-profits, corporations, and small businesses improve communication, harmony, and productivity at work. She is a contributing author to the anthology Stand Up, Speak Out Against Workplace Bullying.

Her recently published memoir called: Angels and Earthworms, an Unexpected Journey to Love, Joy, and Miracles, is about her own transformation from miserable self-doubt to self-acceptance, true love, spiritual awareness, and right livelihood.