The parent-teacher conference can be an efficient tool to communicate with your child’s teacher.  Below are a few tips on how to make that meeting more productive:

1)  Show up:  My wife, now retired from teaching fourth grade for 28 years, often said that the parents with whom she most needed to talk rarely scheduled a conference. Children perform best in school when their parents are involved in their kid’s education.

2)  Come with a positive attitude.  Parents should recognize that most teachers are hard-working, caring educational professionals who toil for little pay.  Complaining, whining or taking your child’s word against the teacher during a conference is not going to be productive.  Be positive but try to address the issue(s).

3)  Make your point.  Don’t leave the conference without getting to discuss your top concern.  Let the teacher run the meeting but ensure in that meeting you have an opportunity to express your primary issue.

4)  Speak in concretes.  Telling a child that he/she is “not working up to his/her potential” or “he/she is behaving in an immature manner” provides little direction as to what the child needs to do to improve.  During the conference try to answer the question, “What does it look like?”  For example, “Billy must remain in his seat during the entire math period.”  Or, “Billy will complete his seat work on time.”

5)  Determine what each of you will do. Once the goals are concretely defined, the parent and teacher must decide what they will do to achieve the stated objectives.  For example:  The teacher will praise Billy when he remains in his seat or raises his hand.  If Billy fails to complete a piece of homework the teacher, that day, will have Billy redo that work during recess or after school.  The parent will reinforce Billy with praise and tokens toward a fun experience when Billy brings home a good paper or test.  The parent will consistently enforce a routine in which Billy completes his homework to earn access to “electronics.”

6)  Follow up.  Set a date to communicate, by phone or email, to discuss your child’s progress.  If the child needs more help, set another appointment.

Larry F. Waldman, Ph.D., ABPP is a licensed psychologist who has practiced in the Paradise Valley area of Phoenix for 35 years.  He works with children, adolescents, parents, adults, and couples.  He also provides forensic consultations in the areas of family law, personal injury, and estate planning.  He speaks professionally to laypersons, educators, and fellow mental health professionals.  He teaches graduate courses for the Educational Psychology Department for Northern Arizona University.  He is the author of “Who’s Raising Whom?  A Parent’s Guide to Effective Child Discipline,” “Coping with Your Adolescent,”“How Come I Love Him But Can’t Live With Him?  Making Your Marriage Work Better,” “The Graduate Course You Never Had:  How to Develop, Manage, Market a Flourishing Private Practice—With and Without Managed Care,” and “Too Busy Earning a Living to Make Your Fortune?  Discover the Psychology of Achieving Your Life Goals.”  His contact information is:  602-996-8619; 11020 N. Tatum Blvd., Bldg E, Suite 100, Phoenix, AZ  85028; LarryWaldmanPhD@cox.net; TopPhoenixPsychologist.com.

Originally Published on https://topphoenixpsychologist.com/

Dr. Larry F. Waldman Psychologist-Retired

Dr. Waldman is a recently semi-retired licensed clinical, forensic psychologist in Phoenix, Arizona. He conducted a highly successful private practice of 45 years working with children, teens, parents, couples, and adults in a solution-focused manner. He also consulted with family, personal injury, immigration and estate planning attorneys. His BS in Education/Psychology was from the University of Wisconsin; his MS in School Psychology was at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee; his Ph.D. in Educational/School Psychology was earned at Arizona State University; and his Diplomate (ABPP) was received in 2003.

Waldman was the past president of the Maricopa Psychological Society, the Director of Psychological Services for Charter Psychiatric Hospital of Glendale, an “Official Guide” (top expert) on Parenting for SelfGrowth.com and was a Medical Consultant for the Social Security Office in Phoenix. He continues as an adjunct graduate professor in counseling and serves on the professional advisory board of Stepping Stones of Hope, a charitable organization serving children whom have lost a parent. Waldman also was the co-chair of the Early Career Psychologists Committee with the Arizona Psychological Association (AzPA) for five years. He is certified by the American Council on Exercise (ACE) as a (senior) fitness specialist and is a yoga instructor, certification in process, offering “yoga for seniors.”

In addition to numerous articles which have been published in the local Phoenix media and in the national press, Waldman has (thus far) written seven books: Who’s Raising Whom? Coping with Your Adolescent; How Come I Love Him But Can’t Live with Him? The Graduate Course You Never Had, 2nd Edition; Too Busy Earning a Living to Make Your Fortune? Overcoming Your Negotiaphobia: Negotiating Through Your Life; and Love Your Child More Than You Hate your Ex.

Dr. Waldman trained as a public speaker and has presented for PESI. His signature presentations are: The Business of Private Practice—The Graduate Course You Never Had and Teaching Parents to Parent. He has made over 150 paid presentations in his career to attorneys, chiropractors, psychologists, family therapists, counselors, social workers, school psychologists and school counselors. To the community Waldman speaks on parenting, marriage, stress, depression and anxiety, wellness, grand parenting and psychotherapy. He also is a seasoned podcast guest. His seminars are organized, practical and entertaining—offering “edutainment.”