Grief changes you — and that means it changes every relationship around you too. The people you expected to show up may disappear, the things people say can sting even when they mean well, and you can feel completely alone in a room full of people who Love you. In Episode 4 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast, Karyn and Kelly dig into Interacting — the I (Interacting) in the G.R.I.E.F. framework — and why navigating Relationships is one of the most exhausting and least talked-about parts of grief.

Why does grief feel so lonely even when people are around?

One of grief’s cruelest paradoxes is that loneliness often hits hardest when you are surrounded by people. You may be at a Family gathering, or a work event, or even a dinner with close friends, and feel completely disconnected — like you landed on a different planet and everyone around you is speaking a language you no longer understand.

Part of this is the sheer amount of change happening inside you. Your priorities shift. The things that used to matter feel trivial. A teenager Kelly worked with put it plainly after her mother died: she couldn’t understand why her friends were upset about things that seemed so small. “When am I going to start caring about things like my friends do again?” she asked. The answer is yes — eventually. But in grief, that gap between where you are and where everyone else seems to be can feel impossibly wide.

Studies on bereavement consistently identify social isolation and loneliness as among the most significant risk factors for complicated grief. Unlike most human needs — if you’re tired, you Sleep; if you’re hungry, you eat — loneliness in grief is not reliably solved by being around people. (Sources: bereavement and social support research literature; Journal of Affective Disorders)

And unlike hunger or fatigue, being with people does not automatically fix the loneliness of grief. That is why understanding how to navigate relationships — who gives you energy, who drains it, what you actually need — matters so much.

What do you do when people say the wrong thing or don’t show up the way you hoped?

Unmet expectations are one of the most common sources of pain in grief — and most of the time, you do not even realize you had an expectation until it goes unmet. Someone you counted on goes quiet. A family member pushes a timeline on your grief. A friend says your loved one “is in a better place” when what you needed was for them to just sit with you.

Karyn and Kelly are honest in the episode: there are no magic words. What grieving people are really looking for is not the perfect thing to be said — it is grace, patience, and the feeling of not being rushed. And the harder truth is that educating the people around you, communicating what you need, often falls on you at the very moment you have the least capacity for it.

What helps more than any script? Using their loved one’s name. Showing up consistently over time, not just in the first week. Asking rather than assuming.

Karyn and Kelly go much deeper on this in the full episode — including what came up in a grief group Karyn led the same day they recorded: Listen to Episode 4 of the GRIEF Ladies Podcast → LINK: https://youtu.be/ZK6kiFNrImw?si=1u2wZNT_PixBs6bY 

Other GRIEF Ladies Podcast Episodes:

• Why Does Structure Matter When You’re Grieving? → LINK:https://youtu.be/wbJVX3Q2iv8?si=IR2rxj4DtA93nnzq   — Episode 3 covers Rebuilding: how routine and small daily anchors help when grief has scattered everything.

• What Are the “Ugly” Emotions of Grief No One Talks About? → LINK: https://youtu.be/x3BKKoWBPv4?si=e3TwQT_4HrKme4xA  — Episode 5 moves into Evolving: anger, guilt, regret, and the impact of grief on self-esteem.

• What Is the G.R.I.E.F. Framework and How Does It Work? → LINK: https://youtu.be/_0ld4dnUT7I?si=dWA5HIuyht01E0bs — An overview of all five pillars and the thinking behind this approach.

Kelly Daugherty The GRIEF Ladies

The GRIEF Ladies grew from decades of clinical work, community building, and lived experience. It isn’t a checklist to “get over it.” It’s a path you can re-enter on the hardest days and the ordinary ones.

Kelly Daugherty from Center for Informed Grief and Karyn Arnold of Grief in Common first connected when Kelly was leading a collaborative grief book project and posted in a Facebook group looking for authors. Karyn responded, and from their very first conversation, the connection was instant. They discovered a shared passion for supporting grieving individuals and striking similarities in their approaches and professional paths. Both had worked in hospice, and both believed that there are practical tools that can truly help support someone on their grief journey.

That first book became The Grief Experience: Tools for Acceptance, Resilience, and Connection. From there, their collaboration grew naturally. What began with one project has blossomed into an ongoing partnership including building frameworks, workshops, and now the GRIEF Ladies Podcast to help others navigate life after loss with honesty and hope. Sign up for their newsletter to stay informed about their future ventures!

Karyn Arnold has served grievers for 25+ years as a facilitator, educator, and the founder of Grief in Common, an online community that connects people by shared experiences of loss. With a background in psychology and mind–body work, Karyn blends evidence-informed practice with simple daily actions that help people steady themselves and find support. She has guided thousands of grievers through groups, workshops, and online programs, and partners with clinicians and organizations to make grief resources easier to find and use.

Kelly Daugherty, LCSW-R, FT, BCC, is a clinician, educator, board-certified coach, and founder of the Center for Informed Grief in Malta, NY. A Fellow in Thanatology, Kelly has worked with individuals and families across hospice, schools, and private practice for over two decades. Her commitment to grief work began after her mother’s death during Kelly’s teen years, shaping a career focused on practical, compassionate support. Kelly develops trainings for educators and mental-health professionals, consults with schools on grief-informed practices, and leads community programs that normalize grief while teaching concrete skills. She believes accessible, plain-language tools can change how communities show up for one another.