GRIEF & YOUR ENERGY
Why Grief feels exhausting… and what helps
Have you noticed grief makes everyday tasks feel harder?
You may feel:
• Mentally drained
• Emotionally overwhelmed
• Socially exhausted
• Physically tired
You are not imagining this.
Grief requires a huge amount of nervous system energy.
Many grieving people worry:
“I should be able to handle more.”
But grief is heavy.
Imagine carrying an invisible backpack filled with memories, Emotions, and change… all day long.
Of course you get tired.
This is where ENERGY MAPPING can help.
Energy mapping helps you notice:
✔ What drains your energy
✔ What restores your energy
✔ What feels meaningful but still exhausting
✔ How to pace yourself in grief
Some experiences have TWO types of energy cost:
Physical Energy: How much effort your body uses
Emotional Energy: How much grief or Stress it activates
Both matter.
Examples:
Talking about your loved one
💛 Meaningful
⚡ Emotionally draining
Family gatherings
💛 Important
⚡ Physically and emotionally tiring
Resting afterward is not weakness.
It is support.
Try this simple reflection:
👉 After I do __________
👉 My body usually feels __________
Awareness helps you plan care instead of pushing through exhaustion.
One helpful strategy is called Recovery Pairing.
This means: Pair draining experiences with supportive ones.
Examples:
Grief ritual → quiet walk
Social event → alone time
Therapy session → calming music or journaling
Grief changes capacity.
Energy mapping helps you work WITH your capacity instead of fighting it.
Pacing grief is how many people survive it.
💬 Reflection Question:
What is one activity that drains your energy right now… and one that helps restore it?
The GRIEF Ladies grew from decades of clinical work, community building, and lived experience. It isn’t a checklist to “get over it.” It’s a path you can re-enter on the hardest days and the ordinary ones.
Kelly Daugherty from Center for Informed Grief and Karyn Arnold of Grief in Common first connected when Kelly was leading a collaborative grief book project and posted in a Facebook group looking for authors. Karyn responded, and from their very first conversation, the connection was instant. They discovered a shared passion for supporting grieving individuals and striking similarities in their approaches and professional paths. Both had worked in hospice, and both believed that there are practical tools that can truly help support someone on their grief journey.
That first book became The Grief Experience: Tools for Acceptance, Resilience, and Connection. From there, their collaboration grew naturally. What began with one project has blossomed into an ongoing partnership including building frameworks, workshops, and now the GRIEF Ladies Podcast to help others navigate life after loss with honesty and hope. Sign up for their newsletter to stay informed about their future ventures!
Karyn Arnold has served grievers for 25+ years as a facilitator, educator, and the founder of Grief in Common, an online community that connects people by shared experiences of loss. With a background in psychology and mind–body work, Karyn blends evidence-informed practice with simple daily actions that help people steady themselves and find support. She has guided thousands of grievers through groups, workshops, and online programs, and partners with clinicians and organizations to make grief resources easier to find and use.
Kelly Daugherty, LCSW-R, FT, BCC, is a clinician, educator, board-certified coach, and founder of the Center for Informed Grief in Malta, NY. A Fellow in Thanatology, Kelly has worked with individuals and families across hospice, schools, and private practice for over two decades. Her commitment to grief work began after her mother’s death during Kelly’s teen years, shaping a career focused on practical, compassionate support. Kelly develops trainings for educators and mental-health professionals, consults with schools on grief-informed practices, and leads community programs that normalize grief while teaching concrete skills. She believes accessible, plain-language tools can change how communities show up for one another.
