A few weeks ago, I came across Peter Crone on a podcast. I liked what I heard and looked for more. I liked his asking questions, so it took a lot longer to listen to one. I often hit pause and wondered how that question applied to my life.

Taking a deep dive like that results in me not doing much beyond what I have on my calendar. This way of looking at my life brought up a lot, not in a bad way. I began to see patterns, saw periods in my life in a completely new way. It was fascinating and interesting.

I am becoming aware of subtle differences. For instance: accepting and receiving. On the one hand it seems to be the same, on the other, I am aware that there is a difference. Feel the energy of each word. Please don’t ask me to talk about it. I can’t, yet. Doing gratitude and being gratitude is another one. I have been aware of that for some time now and now realized that I look at it through the lens of perfection. What do I mean with that?

If I am not grateful every minute of the day, therefore,I am doing gratitude. Using Peter Crone’s main question: Is that true? I have to say no. There are moments when I feel deep gratitude. That’s how I noticed the perfectionism. I am not perfect and I guess no one is. Perfectionism is a coping mechanism, not a reality.

I disliked it when someone said, I am just human. I still do and the trigger is the word “just”. It always felt like an excuse. Being good at excuses (or refined judgments) myself, I spot them quickly. Someone once called me the word police because of it. LOL. Peter holds both. We are an infinite being (or whatever word you would like to use) that is living on earth in a body and therefore not perfect. He invites to get to a place of peace with it which led me to another differentiation: peace – resignation. It may look the same in the way I act, yet it is quite different. Another one to explore

I am coming up for air, at least for a while. Yet know that when I become quiet on social media, I have gone for a deep dive and become oblivious to the world around me. Somehow, I am at peace with that. May be because that is the way I have become aware of so many things, learned so much. It’s just who I am. It seems I am walking example of holding opposites, a capacity that is important in today’s times. Interesting thought that arose: I am a human deeply connected (again) to my soul that can hold a bigger perspective.