Key pointsMidlife sparks a search for meaning when routines feel empty.
The itch for change at midlife is our drive to ensure that life and work truly matter.
Comfort zones can trap us in stagnancy, delaying Growth and transformation.
Reframing change as a Legacy empowers us to embrace new purpose, passion, and impact.
Have you ever yearned for change but your life is okay, so you don’t rock the boat? If so, you are not alone. So many people at midlife feel a tug to do something new and unique because they’ve become Experts in what they do and their day-to-day work life doesn’t pack the passion it once did. There may not be anything wrong, and there may not even be a problem. Things are just meh.
Yet there’s an itch, a desire for career excitement, relationship shift, or identity evolution—a desire for more but no clear picture of what or how. You may be thinking, I’ll deal with this nagging feeling after the kids leave, once the mortgage is paid, or when I’m closer to Retirement.
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The itch you are feeling isn’t unusual. It occurs when we hit midlife and wonder what else is out there for us. It even has a name: It’s the emotional developmental stage called generativity. We tend to hit this milestone when we are just getting comfortable, and it rocks us out of our comfort zone to get us moving again. It is a new drive to make sure that our lives matter and we explore how to do that. Some start a podcast. Some change jobs. Some start blogging. And, some get involved in Volunteering, mentoring, and Philanthropy.
We can either obey the itch or stay in a transition loop and remain stagnant. If you’re stuck in the transition loop, you may tell yourself I’m still figuring it out or I’m comfortable enough right now. But when we do this, we’re postponing the change we need, usually too afraid to move beyond the comfort zone to something new.
The Discomfort of Staying Too Long
But staying too long in the comfort zone brings its own discomfort. Recently, I spoke with Kiki L’Italien, a powerhouse community-builder and someone who’s poured her heart into a brand she no longer owns. Kiki was the founder and driving force behind Association Chat, a community and content platform she built and nurtured for over 16 years. She told me “I sold my baby”. Although she loved the company she built, she wanted more, which meant moving on to create and own her next chapter, motivated by a desire for ownership, legacy, and new opportunities. Her motivations and purpose had changed, but changing her life to reflect that was not easy. Her story offers a lesson in how to choose between comfort and forward movement.
Her “baby” was Association Chat, a community for association professionals that she birthed, nurtured, and built into a vibrant online platform. L’Italien remained attached to something meaningful even when it no longer belonged to her. She sold her company, but couldn’t detatch herself from it right away and remained involved.
Ultimately, she left it altogether. Moving forward, however, meant reframing her emotion-laden act from a loss to a legacy.
The Call to Reframe
What we all do when we step into a new chapter of our lives is create a new comfort zone for ourselves. Kiki did it by stepping away from what no longer served her, not because it wasn’t good, but because it was time. She now has a legacy and a new comfort zone to explore that can continue to serve her emotionally. Kiki is now focused on trust, and speaking about this topic and pivoting to a new, meaningful purpose for her work and personal life.
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Originally Published on https://deborahheiserphd.substack.com/
