1. EP 75: Real Confidence- The Self-reliant Path to Confidence Alyssa Dver 23:41

Ever wonder which episode or season you’d make it to if you were a character in The Walking Dead? How you’d protect yourself, find shelter, get food? Whom you could trust? What about whether you could trust yourself to do the right thing if your life were under threat or your loyalties were tested?

These questions aren’t just fun party conversation starters – they’re actually a sneaky way to get a handle on how self-reliant you are, and in turn, how confident you feel about taking care of yourself and your loved ones in an actual state of emergency.

Topics like emergency preparedness, self-defense, and home safety and security bring up fear for a lot of people. There’s the Fear with a capital F around the need for these things becoming reality, but also the fear that we won’t know what to do or how to do it if someone isn’t there to help or guide us.

The more self-reliant we are, the more confidence we can have that we have the skills, tools or abilities we need to manage these kinds of serious situations. That doesn’t guarantee a good outcome of course, but the alternative – keeping our heads in the sand – almost promises that things won’t go as well as they could.

Enter John Brewer, my guest on this episode of Real Confidence. John spent 10+ years in Army Special Forces defending his country, his family and his life. Our conversation about the relationship between self-reliance and confidence was riveting. It doesn’t matter if you’re avoiding learning how to program a new remote control or putting go-bags together in case weather events force you to evacuate your home – this episode has something for everyone.

Highlights from our conversation include: 

  • How self-reliance and teamwork fit together
  • The cost of not being more self-reliant
  • How it’s our belief that something is beyond our learning grasp that makes it so
  • Why foundational – not expert – knowledge is enough to build self-trust and reliance
  • The three levels of confidence that are always at play at work or at home, whether you’re a leader or contributor to the team

John Brewer is the author of Fight For Your Best Life: The Step-By-Step Self-defense Guide to Personal Empowerment, Protecting Your Loved Ones, and Living Fearless and the founder of Mind, Shield and Spear Consulting group, an organization focused on delivering not just the physical techniques, but also the mental strategies to navigate challenging situations with confidence. Learn more about John at mindshieldandspear.com.

Alyssa Dver Confidence Crusader & Neuro Nerd

Confidence Crusader, Neuro Nerd and Success Equalizer, Alyssa Dver leads the American Confidence Institute and the global association ERG Leadership Alliance that directly helps all workplaces be more diverse, equitable and inclusive. She received a Stevie Award for Thought Leadership, has two TEDx talks, hosts the popular podcasts Real Confidence and Distilled Confidence, and authored 8 expert-endorsed books including “Confidence is a Choice: Real Science. Superhero Impact.” and “ERG Intelligence.” She can be seen delivering 150+ talks each year, coaching at MIT and Wharton innovation centers and as spokesperson for both L’Oreal’s IT Cosmetics brand and The American Distilling Institute.