EP 72: Real Confidence- Can Guilt be Good?
- EP 72: Real Confidence- Can Guilt be Good? Alyssa Dver 15:36
A lot of people ask me what the opposite of confidence is. On some level I think they already know the answer isn’t insecurity or a lack of self-esteem otherwise why ask the question.
And they’re right. The opposite of confidence is neither of those things.
It’s guilt.
Guilt is quite a tool. Most often we think of it as a tool other people use against us. My mother likes to say, “I didn’t know your phone was broken,” to guilt me into calling more often.
In those situations, when someone’s bullying us, guilt can feel bad, stir up feelings of shame or worthlessness. And I have some things to say about that, too.
But sometimes guilt can be good. I don’t mean that it makes us feel good, but that it’s a sign that we’ve violated our own values, needs and wants.
When we can recognize that, then we also recognize that just like confidence, guilt is a choice. We can wallow in it, or we can use it to address what we did – or didn’t do – and come back to what’s most important to us and then act from THAT place.
Listen in to learn how to spot the different flavors of guilt and what you can do when you feel the weight of it pulling you down, so that the next time it shows up you can rise up confidently to face it.
