Susanne White's caregiving journey began unexpectedly when she received a call from her sister about their Aging parents. Susanne's mother was in the early stages of dementia, while her father was struggling to care for her. As the eldest sibling living closest, Susanne immediately stepped up to become the primary caregiver for her parents.Â
Over the next four years, Susanne navigated the challenges of caregiving, including her strained relationship with her controlling mother. However, through this intense experience, Susanne was able to heal that relationship and gain a deeper understanding of herself. She describes the caregiving journey as “recovery and understanding and self-awareness on steroids,” which ultimately made her a better version of herself. Even after the passing of her parents, Susanne continues to reflect on the lessons she learned as a caregiver warrior and how it transformed her life.
Susanne's story highlights the profound personal Growth that can emerge from the trials of caregiving. Her willingness to be vulnerable and acknowledge the messiness of the experience resonates with many who are also on their own caregiving journeys. Susanne's insights on the importance of self-care, accepting emotions, and finding silver linings provide valuable guidance for fellow caregiver warriors.
About Susanne:
Susanne White is the Founder of Caregiver Warrior. She was faced with the opportunity to care for her parents and ventured out on a caregiving journey that would change her life. She blogs about this journey on her website, caregiverwarrior.comand shares her experience, strength and hope with others so that they too may navigate caregiving with grace and empowerment. White’s latest book, Self-Care for Caregivers: A Practical Guide to Caring for You While You Care for Your Loved One, is now available at your favorite book stores. Visit caregiverwarrior.com for more information from Susanne White, or follow her on X (formerly Twitter), LinkedIn, Facebook and InstagramÂ
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Known since childhood as “The Elliott Girls” or simply, “The Girls”, it makes sense that we work together to support our mother, and each other. Our trio begins with Jenefer Jane “JJ” who was and always will be “in charge”. She’s the peacekeeper. The responsible one, ensuring Natalie and Emilie remain alive. Next is Natalie, the middle child, who was and always will be Miss Congeniality. She’s the athlete. The rebel responsible for three babysitters exiting the summer of ’84. Then there is Emilie, the youngest, who was and always will be “the baby”. At 6’1”, she is the sensitive and quiet soul. The one responsible for the guinea pig that begged for lettuce and the stray dog we adopted from the bus stop.
After high school we went separate ways, from New Mexico to North Carolina. JJ would go on to get her Master’s in Business Administration and work in the finance world before partnering with her now husband, Dexter, to run a variety of businesses. Natalie would go on to get her Master’s in Social Work degree, and work in the mental health field, advocating for children and families to receive the most appropriate services. Natalie would marry and divorce early on but later marry Jason. Emilie would exit college early to marry and gift us with Owen and twins, Maxx and Natalie Jane aka “The Kids”. Emilie would later divorce and work with county government, focusing much time on caring for the kids.
The source of the sisterhood falls to Jim aka “Big Jim” and Connie, small town high school sweethearts married for almost 40 years.
In 2005, at the age of 52, mom would be diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She hid the disease for years behind dad’s 6’2” frame. The tremors and sudden inability to move were both calmed and steadied by his arm and simple presence. He was her rock. Our rock. Close family and friends knew of her chronic illness, but to the rest of the world, everything was “fine”. Life would turn upside down when our dad unexpectedly passed in 2011 of a massive heart attack at the age of 58. The assumption was Dad would always be mom’s caregiver but that wasn’t God’s plan.
Mom would spend the years following our father’s death desperately seeking a cure for Parkinson’s while trying to manage her symptoms. As the years went by, the cruel symptoms associated with the disease increased, negatively impacting her body while her mind remained clear and in tune. We lived our lives checking in to make sure she was “okay” but knowing the day would come when we had to do more. And then it did. The summer of 2019 changed everything. That’s where the real caregiver story begins for us. Little did we know she would be only the beginning of our caregiving journey.
In March 2022, Natalie’s husband, Jason, was diagnosed with head and neck cancer. From the first time Jason detected something off about the swollen lymph nodes in his neck, to the formal diagnosis, and the decision to move to New York City to participate in a clinical trial at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the journey would push them to their limits. The silver lining of his diagnosis was the cancer brought them closer to God, restoring their faith in Him while also experiencing a myriad of blessings through the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. Their story is a testimony that will inspire and offer hope.