What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

I’m worried about the calendar. Its days are numbered.

What time did the person go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes, but it turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

What do you call a factory that makes OK products? A satisfactory.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese. 

I don’t know what the best thing about Switzerland is, but the flag is a big plus. 

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? They just wanted a bit more space. 

I don’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something.  

What’s Forrest Gump’s computer password? 1forrest1. 

I’m on a seafood Diet. I see food, I eat it. 

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.  

Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them. 

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. 

Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day. 

I tell dad jokes but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa. 

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired. 

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. 

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb.

Thanks to Inspiring quotes for these

Originally Published on https://boomersnotsenior.blogspot.com/

Royce Shook Blogger

I served as a teacher, a teacher on Call, a Department Head, a District Curriculum, Specialist, a Program Coordinator, and a Provincial Curriculum Coordinator over a forty year career. In addition, I was the Department Head for Curriculum and Instruction, as well as a professor both online and in person at the University of Phoenix (Canada) from 2000-2010.

I also worked with Special Needs students. I gave workshops on curriculum development and staff training before I fully retired