Old is when…
Please note that these statements are intended to be humorous and based on stereotypes I have heard as I got older. We need to understand that the people saying these things are not meaning to offend, but are trying to be funny. I only take offence if it is a younger person (under 50) saying it instead of someone of my age.
IS WHEN Your sweetie says, “Let’s
go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do
IS WHEN Your friends compliment you on
your new alligator shoes -and you’re barefoot.
IS WHEN A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pace-maker opens the garage door.
IS WHEN Going bra-less pulls all the
wrinkles out of your face.
IS WHEN You don’t care where your
spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
IS WHEN You are cautioned to slow down
by the doctor instead of by the police.
IS WHEN “Getting a little action”
means I don’t need to take any ﬁber today.
IS WHEN “Getting lucky” means
you ﬁnd your car in the parking lot. ‘
IS WHEN”… when all-nighter” means not getting up to go to the bathroom.
WHEN You get excited about taking a nap
instead of going out on the town.
IS WHEN You consider a comfortable
chair and a good book to be the perfect Friday night.
IS WHEN Your idea of a wild night is
staying up past 9 p.m.
IS WHEN You start using phrases like
“back in my day” or “when I was young” on a regular basis.
IS WHEN You’re more interested in
gardening and birdwatching than hitting the club scene.
IS WHEN You need reading glasses to
decipher the restaurant menu.
IS WHEN Your idea of a hot date is a
candlelit dinner at home.
IS WHEN You find yourself forgetting
names more often than not.
IS WHEN You opt for sensible shoes over
IS WHEN Your idea of a wild adventure
is trying a new recipe in the kitchen.