“Who Do You Want To be?” may sound like a peculiar question. It came to me after a conversation the other evening with a business acquaintance. A man in about his mid-thirties, I’ll call him Ben, going through a serious medical situation. His attitude was so unbelievably positive, his energy upbeat, his voice strong, his fortitude and determination palpable, I could almost feel it through the telephone. It wasn’t a false positivity, it was heartfelt and genuine. I could sense it came from the very fabric of his being.

Despite what he described as an unbelievably high pain tolerance, he recounted the situations when the pain was so intense, so excruciating, accompanied by vertigo, nausea and banging in his inner ear, that it made him feel like he was breaking in two. He gave himself permission to surrender to it for a few days but then picked himself back up and forged ahead. I told him there was much for me to learn from that conversation because, though my challenges are nowhere near what he is experiencing, I have my moments when feeling completely discouraged and disheartened.

Though we may all feel that way from time to time, Ben didn’t seem to have any time or energy for those feelings, He said those feelings wouldn’t get him anywhere.

I woke up today thinking about that conversation and realizing that there was no time for anything less than the fortitude and resilience I heard from Ben.

Throughout the morning I was thinking about an abundance mindset. Reframing our thinking when we find ourselves in a negative response pattern isn’t easy. It’s almost as if, as Cher says in the scene when she slaps Nicholas Cage in the face in the film Moonstruck, “snap out of it.”. How can we “snap out of it” to change direction, change our thinking, change our attitude?

I’ve termed it “positivity on demand”, not to be confused with being a Pollyanna. But how do you get there? It requires a mindset shift which can only happen when you’re fully present in the moment.

My stream of Consciousness thoughts continued to gratitude, wealth, abundance, and prosperity affirmations. When hearing those words it’s not unusual to think primarily of financial wealth, financial abundance of financial prosperity. But, that would be limited thinking.

We can be wealthy, abundant and prosperous in our Relationships, both personal and professional, our attitudes, our health and wellbeing, our Lifestyle, the opportunities and people that come our way.

What a successful life It would be if we could truly value it in that way. The acronym

SWAP came into my mind. Success – Wealth – Abundance – Prosperity. Can I keep that mindset?

The gray clouds hung over the morning sky…it appeared it was going to be gloomy day. A short time later I ran into a gal who complained of the dreariness, misty air, and cloudy skies.

I looked up but believed I could see a brightness beyond the clouds…like the sun was looming waiting in the distance for its turn to once-again shine brightly. I remarked that it helped us that much more to appreciate the sunshine and warmth of the previous day.

In a previous time, I might have agreed with her. We likely would have continued to talk about the gloomy day, the possibility of rain, the dreariness that can affect a person’s entire attitude.

But, in that moment, I realized I did a kind of mental SWAP: one attitude for another.

I told her about my conversation the previous evening and my thoughts about “snapping out of it”.

She agreed, said she would remember our conversation and would make every attempt to change her thinking when she feels herself falling prey to negative thoughts. Admittedly, this isn’t easy because it’s also a habit… a habit based on the fact that 90% of our thoughts are negative and we have between 60-80,000 thoughts running through our minds each day.

So how can you “snap out of it” without Cher’s proverbial slap in the face?

Try this:

Snap your fingers.

Note what’s happening.

Analyze and be Aware of your response

Plan Positivity

We can choose who we want to be. The new year gives us new opportunities.

So, who do you want to be in 2023?

Will you be the person who values Success as Wealth, Abundance and Prosperity in the richness of your thoughts, attitudes, connections, relationships and opportunities and who can turn the tide of negativity and reframe it into a more positive mindset and attitude? This will play an important role in your overall wellness and healthful longevity. After all, we all attract what’s in our minds and in our hearts.

To receive The SeniorScape™ to your inbox, learn more about mindfulness, strategies to shift your mindset as part of your overall wellness or longevity care plan email:

Phyllis@phyllisaymanassociates.com

Follow Phyllis Ayman on the podcast: SeniorsSTRAIGHTTalk at: https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/3911/seniors-straight-talk

Originally Published on https://www.phyllisaymanassociates.com/

Phyllis Ayman Ambassador for Conscious Aging Life Management and #1 WSJ and USA Today Best Selling Author, Podcaster

Phyllis Ayman is the Ambassador for Conscious Aging Life Management, and founder of Mindful Longevity Solutions. She coaches individuals to develop their Personalized Longevity or Wellness Care Plans so they can live as healthfully, happily ,and fulfilled as they possibly can. As an aging life careplanning coach and mediator, she guides families to make decisions and mediate challenging conversations around aging care issues. She conceived and owns the trademark IMpathy®, essentially the inner game of empathy, which the hallmark of her proprietary programs.

Ayman is a #1 WSJ and USA Today Best Selling author, featured speaker, panel moderator, trainer, advocate gerontological speech/language pathologist and dementia care specialist. She spent over 40,000 hours working with thousands of individuals and families in long term care. Her writings have been featured in Next Avenue, McKnight’s Long Term Care News and McKnight’s Senior Living, and the National Council of Certified Dementia Practitioner Newsletters.