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Paul Colaianni Behavior and Relationship Coach

've been a Behavior and Relationship Coach since 2009 and am the host of two podcasts.

Love and Abuse is all about how to navigate the difficult relationship, while The Overwhelmed Brain is a show about how to deal with the difficulties in life.

The shows can be found at theoverwhelmedbrain.com and loveandabuse.com, respectively.

I currently live in north Atlanta, Georgia, with my fiancée Asha.

Recent Content

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Never Put Your Faith In Anyone Who Makes You Feel Unworthy &Raquo; 605 Never Put Your Faith In Anyone Who Makes You Feel Unworthy Po
Never put your faith in anyone who makes you feel unworthy

People who care about you should lift you up, not kick you when you're down. If someone keeps dragging you lower, trusting their words is like giving a vampire the keys to the blood bank.     

People who care abou…

People who care about you should lift you up, not kick you when you're down. If someone keeps dragging you lower, trusting their words is like giving a vampire the keys to the blood bank.     

Listen · 27:58
When Every Argument Is Petty And Unresolved &Raquo; 604 When Every Argument Is Petty And Unresolved Po
When every argument is petty and unresolved

Arguing isn't fun, but if it's going to happen, it should at least be productive. But what if it's never productive and you never get anything resolved? That's the question I tackle today. 

Arguing isn't fun, b…

Arguing isn't fun, but if it's going to happen, it should at least be productive. But what if it's never productive and you never get anything resolved? That's the question I tackle today. 

Listen · 38:54
The Big Life Lessons That Can Change Everything For The Better &Raquo; 603 The Big Life Lessons That Can Change Everything For The Better Po
The big life lessons that can change everything for the better

There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards…

There are some life …

There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards for such a leap can mean the difference between living a full life or one restricted by fear and uncertainty. 

Listen · 31:46
Am I Really The Problem? &Raquo; 602 Am I Really The Problem Po
Am I really the problem?

If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we n…

If you find that you…

If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we need to address that right away.

Listen · 48:44
Should Payback For Bad Behavior Be A Relationship Norm? &Raquo; 601 Should Payback For Bad Behavior Be A Relationship Norm Po
Should payback for bad behavior be a relationship norm?

What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship w…

What are your rights…

What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship warfare? Good question!

Listen · 48:33
Decluttering The Overwhelmed Brain &Raquo; 600 Decluttering The Overwhelmed Brain
Decluttering the overwhelmed brain

If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode…

If you find your min…

If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode that strays away from the norm, but hey, out of eleven years of doing this show, one off the beaten path isn't going to hurt.

Listen · 40:50
When Empathy Is Used Against You &Raquo; 599 When Empathy Is Used Against You 5
When empathy is used against you

Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those…

Some people can be d…

Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those people today.

Listen · 37:36
Washing Your Hands Of A Problem That Won'T Go Away &Raquo; 597 Washing Your Hands Of A Problem That Wont Go Away Po
Washing your hands of a problem that won't go away

Some problems won't go away until you walk away from them. But walking away can be hard... sometimes impossible. And sometimes it involves sacrifice. And is walking away the only answer? 

Some problems won't …

Some problems won't go away until you walk away from them. But walking away can be hard... sometimes impossible. And sometimes it involves sacrifice. And is walking away the only answer? 

Listen · 38:05
The Pressure Of Sex And Expectations In An Established Relationship &Raquo; 596 The Pressure Of Sex And Expectations In An Established Relationship Po
The pressure of sex and expectations in an established relationship

Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to …

Sometimes emotional …

Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to receive it instead of trying to build it from the ground up?     

Listen · 39:47
Feeling Like You Have No Choice But To Submit To Ungrateful, Uncaring People &Raquo; Feeling Like You Have No Choice But To Submit To Ungrateful Uncaring People Po
Feeling like you have no choice but to submit to ungrateful, uncaring people

You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lo…

You know the type: T…

You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lot of thoughts and lessons we can learn what we can do, if anything, when the other person in your life is making things unnecessarily harder.

Listen · 1:10:20
The Partner Who Likes Things As They Are When You'Re Just Miserable &Raquo; 594 The Partner Who Likes Things As They Are When Youre Just Miserable Po
The partner who likes things as they are when you're just miserable

When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today. 

When you live with y…

When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today. 

Listen · 42:51
The People Who Avoid You &Raquo; 593 The People Who Avoid You Po
The people who avoid you

Are you trying to reconnect with someone who’s unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with ot…

Are you trying to re…

Are you trying to reconnect with someone who’s unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with others who seem like all they care about is avoiding you. 

Listen · 29:21
The Judgments You Have About Others That Keep You Unhappy &Raquo; 592 The Judgments You Have About Others That Keep You Unhappy Po
The judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someon…

If you’ve ever fou…

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someone you just can't seem to fully accept. 

Listen · 44:31
How Your Coping Mechanisms May Be Interfering With Your Happiness &Raquo; 591 How Your Coping Mechanisms May Be Interfering With Your Happiness Po
How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness

How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and ch…

How you cope with ch…

How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and choose different responses in the future. If it were only that easy. 

Listen · 57:15
The Massive, Impossible, Overwhelming Circumstances That Make Life Feel Hopeless &Raquo; 590 The Massive Impossible Overwhelming Circumstances That Make Life Feel Hopeless Po
The massive, impossible, overwhelming circumstances that make life feel hopeless

Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do? 

Problems can add up,…

Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do? 

Listen · 45:02
Can You Heal From The Big Reveal Of Your Partner'S Past? &Raquo; 589 Can You Heal From The Big Reveal Of Your Partners Past Po
Can you heal from the big reveal of your partner's past?

So you get someone special and you're feeling pretty good abou things, but then they reveal something they did in their past that takes all those good feelings away. Now you're not sure what to do abo…

So you get someone s…

So you get someone special and you're feeling pretty good abou things, but then they reveal something they did in their past that takes all those good feelings away. Now you're not sure what to do about it. Can you get over it? Will you ever look at them the same way again? I tackle that specific issue in this episode. 

Listen · 36:13
Those &Quot;Nothing&Quot; People When You Ask What'S Wrong &Raquo; 588 Those Nothing People When You Ask Whats Wrong Po
Those "Nothing" people when you ask what's wrong

What do you do when someone won't share what's on their mind? They're acting very different, but they're refusing to say why. They might even tell you nothing's wrong. But you know something's up... 

What do you do when …

What do you do when someone won't share what's on their mind? They're acting very different, but they're refusing to say why. They might even tell you nothing's wrong. But you know something's up... 

Listen · 35:07

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