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Paul Colaianni Behavior and Relationship Coach

've been a Behavior and Relationship Coach since 2009 and am the host of two podcasts.

Love and Abuse is all about how to navigate the difficult relationship, while The Overwhelmed Brain is a show about how to deal with the difficulties in life.

The shows can be found at theoverwhelmedbrain.com and loveandabuse.com, respectively.

I currently live in north Atlanta, Georgia, with my fiancée Asha.

Recent Content

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Life Isn'T Exactly Fulfilling When You Are Holding On To Upset Toward Someone &Raquo; 609 Life Isnt Exactly Fulfilling When You Are Holding On To Upset Toward Someone Po
Life isn't exactly fulfilling when you are holding on to upset toward someone

When you're holding on to that little bit of anger or upset about or toward someone else, maybe someone who is not even in your life anymore, it can decrease the quality of your happiness, maybe even …

When you're holding …

When you're holding on to that little bit of anger or upset about or toward someone else, maybe someone who is not even in your life anymore, it can decrease the quality of your happiness, maybe even diminishing it to a mere sliver of what it could be.  

Listen · 31:03
Stay In Control Or Let It Go? &Raquo; 608 Stay In Control Or Let It Go Po
Stay in control or let it go?

Do we have to carry the weight of our past negative experiences into our future? Staying in control and letting go of it have the very same effect. I get into more detail about that in this episode ab…

Do we have to carry …

Do we have to carry the weight of our past negative experiences into our future? Staying in control and letting go of it have the very same effect. I get into more detail about that in this episode about choice. 

Listen · 42:55
The Games Our Loved Ones Play &Raquo; 607 The Games Our Loved Ones Play Po
The games our loved ones play

"Go ahead, have a great time! Wait, are you leaving without me? What about my needs? No, I mean go ahead and have fun. I'll be good! Hey, don't feel bad about leaving me alone, I'll be fine. Oh, you d…

"Go ahead, have a gr…

"Go ahead, have a great time! Wait, are you leaving without me? What about my needs? No, I mean go ahead and have fun. I'll be good! Hey, don't feel bad about leaving me alone, I'll be fine. Oh, you don't feel bad? Why are you leaving me alone? How can you do this to me?" Need I say more? 

Listen · 38:22
What Is Love? &Raquo; 606 What Is Love Po
What is love?

How you define love will be what you get from it. If you don't have a definition for love, you may get stuck with something that appears to be love, but is really something else altogether. If you are…

How you define love …

How you define love will be what you get from it. If you don't have a definition for love, you may get stuck with something that appears to be love, but is really something else altogether. If you are 100% happy with the people you love in your life, skip this episode.  

Listen · 53:49
Never Put Your Faith In Anyone Who Makes You Feel Unworthy &Raquo; 605 Never Put Your Faith In Anyone Who Makes You Feel Unworthy Po
Never put your faith in anyone who makes you feel unworthy

People who care about you should lift you up, not kick you when you're down. If someone keeps dragging you lower, trusting their words is like giving a vampire the keys to the blood bank.     

People who care abou…

People who care about you should lift you up, not kick you when you're down. If someone keeps dragging you lower, trusting their words is like giving a vampire the keys to the blood bank.     

Listen · 27:58
When Every Argument Is Petty And Unresolved &Raquo; 604 When Every Argument Is Petty And Unresolved Po
When every argument is petty and unresolved

Arguing isn't fun, but if it's going to happen, it should at least be productive. But what if it's never productive and you never get anything resolved? That's the question I tackle today. 

Arguing isn't fun, b…

Arguing isn't fun, but if it's going to happen, it should at least be productive. But what if it's never productive and you never get anything resolved? That's the question I tackle today. 

Listen · 38:54
The Big Life Lessons That Can Change Everything For The Better &Raquo; 603 The Big Life Lessons That Can Change Everything For The Better Po
The big life lessons that can change everything for the better

There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards…

There are some life …

There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards for such a leap can mean the difference between living a full life or one restricted by fear and uncertainty. 

Listen · 31:46
Am I Really The Problem? &Raquo; 602 Am I Really The Problem Po
Am I really the problem?

If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we n…

If you find that you…

If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we need to address that right away.

Listen · 48:44
Should Payback For Bad Behavior Be A Relationship Norm? &Raquo; 601 Should Payback For Bad Behavior Be A Relationship Norm Po
Should payback for bad behavior be a relationship norm?

What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship w…

What are your rights…

What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship warfare? Good question!

Listen · 48:33
Decluttering The Overwhelmed Brain &Raquo; 600 Decluttering The Overwhelmed Brain
Decluttering the overwhelmed brain

If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode…

If you find your min…

If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode that strays away from the norm, but hey, out of eleven years of doing this show, one off the beaten path isn't going to hurt.

Listen · 40:50
When Empathy Is Used Against You &Raquo; 599 When Empathy Is Used Against You 5
When empathy is used against you

Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those…

Some people can be d…

Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those people today.

Listen · 37:36

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