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Paul Colaianni Behavior and Relationship Coach

've been a Behavior and Relationship Coach since 2009 and am the host of two podcasts.

Love and Abuse is all about how to navigate the difficult relationship, while The Overwhelmed Brain is a show about how to deal with the difficulties in life.

The shows can be found at theoverwhelmedbrain.com and loveandabuse.com, respectively.

I currently live in north Atlanta, Georgia, with my fiancée Asha.

Recent Content

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The Pressure Of Sex And Expectations In An Established Relationship &Raquo; 596 The Pressure Of Sex And Expectations In An Established Relationship Po
The pressure of sex and expectations in an established relationship

Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to …

Sometimes emotional …

Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to receive it instead of trying to build it from the ground up?     

Listen · 39:47
Feeling Like You Have No Choice But To Submit To Ungrateful, Uncaring People &Raquo; Feeling Like You Have No Choice But To Submit To Ungrateful Uncaring People Po
Feeling like you have no choice but to submit to ungrateful, uncaring people

You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lo…

You know the type: T…

You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lot of thoughts and lessons we can learn what we can do, if anything, when the other person in your life is making things unnecessarily harder.

Listen · 1:10:20
The Partner Who Likes Things As They Are When You'Re Just Miserable &Raquo; 594 The Partner Who Likes Things As They Are When Youre Just Miserable Po
The partner who likes things as they are when you're just miserable

When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today. 

When you live with y…

When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today. 

Listen · 42:51
The People Who Avoid You &Raquo; 593 The People Who Avoid You Po
The people who avoid you

Are you trying to reconnect with someone who’s unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with ot…

Are you trying to re…

Are you trying to reconnect with someone who’s unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with others who seem like all they care about is avoiding you. 

Listen · 29:21
The Judgments You Have About Others That Keep You Unhappy &Raquo; 592 The Judgments You Have About Others That Keep You Unhappy Po
The judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someon…

If you’ve ever fou…

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someone you just can't seem to fully accept. 

Listen · 44:31
How Your Coping Mechanisms May Be Interfering With Your Happiness &Raquo; 591 How Your Coping Mechanisms May Be Interfering With Your Happiness Po
How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness

How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and ch…

How you cope with ch…

How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and choose different responses in the future. If it were only that easy. 

Listen · 57:15
The Massive, Impossible, Overwhelming Circumstances That Make Life Feel Hopeless &Raquo; 590 The Massive Impossible Overwhelming Circumstances That Make Life Feel Hopeless Po
The massive, impossible, overwhelming circumstances that make life feel hopeless

Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do? 

Problems can add up,…

Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do? 

Listen · 45:02
Can You Heal From The Big Reveal Of Your Partner'S Past? &Raquo; 589 Can You Heal From The Big Reveal Of Your Partners Past Po
Can you heal from the big reveal of your partner's past?

So you get someone special and you're feeling pretty good abou things, but then they reveal something they did in their past that takes all those good feelings away. Now you're not sure what to do abo…

So you get someone s…

So you get someone special and you're feeling pretty good abou things, but then they reveal something they did in their past that takes all those good feelings away. Now you're not sure what to do about it. Can you get over it? Will you ever look at them the same way again? I tackle that specific issue in this episode. 

Listen · 36:13
Those &Quot;Nothing&Quot; People When You Ask What'S Wrong &Raquo; 588 Those Nothing People When You Ask Whats Wrong Po
Those "Nothing" people when you ask what's wrong

What do you do when someone won't share what's on their mind? They're acting very different, but they're refusing to say why. They might even tell you nothing's wrong. But you know something's up... 

What do you do when …

What do you do when someone won't share what's on their mind? They're acting very different, but they're refusing to say why. They might even tell you nothing's wrong. But you know something's up... 

Listen · 35:07
The Family Bonds That Require Boundaries &Raquo; 587 The Family Bonds That Require Boundaries Po
The family bonds that require boundaries

What happens if you marry into a family that doesn't really honor your presence or your boundaries? Sometimes their family doesn't feel like yours, especially when you feel like a total outsider becau…

What happens if you …

What happens if you marry into a family that doesn't really honor your presence or your boundaries? Sometimes their family doesn't feel like yours, especially when you feel like a total outsider because of how you are treated. 

Listen · 27:57
Arguing Your Way To Understanding &Raquo; 586 Arguing Your Way To Understanding Po
Arguing your way to understanding

If you find yourself caught in misunderstandings over seemingly simple matters like where you should store your house paint, you’re not alone. Can clear communication prevail during an argument? The…

If you find yourself…

If you find yourself caught in misunderstandings over seemingly simple matters like where you should store your house paint, you’re not alone. Can clear communication prevail during an argument? There's a challenge in expressing emotions and maintaining balanced Relationships. Hopefully I can help you guide through those challenges in this episode. 

Listen · 46:20
When Your Relationships Aren'T Exactly High Quality Or Authentic &Raquo; 584 When Your Relationships Arent Exactly High Quality Or Authentic Po
When your relationships aren't exactly high quality or authentic

Some relationships can be shallow and superficial. Some can be toxic and harmful. Then there are those that are quite meaningful. Why can't they all be meaningful? There might be a way to do that... b…

Some relationships c…

Some relationships can be shallow and superficial. Some can be toxic and harmful. Then there are those that are quite meaningful. Why can't they all be meaningful? There might be a way to do that... but it comes at a risk. 

Listen · 37:51
What To Do When Someone You Care About Shows More Excitement About Their Interests Than You &Raquo; 583 Tob Po
What to do when someone you care about shows more excitement about their interests than you

Some people like things we don't. Some get excited over the things we find uninteresting. What happens when their interests become more exciting to them than us? Do we accept our place in their line o…

Some people like thi…

Some people like things we don't. Some get excited over the things we find uninteresting. What happens when their interests become more exciting to them than us? Do we accept our place in their line of priorities? Or is there a win-win in here that we may not have considered? 

Listen · 35:11
When People Treat You As You Were, Not As You Are &Raquo; 582 When People Treat You As You Were Not As You Are Po
When people treat you as you were, not as you are

Learning and growing is a natural part of life. Some people embrace those changes in you, but what about those who don't? What if all they see is who you've always been and aren't willing to see the n…

Learning and growing…

Learning and growing is a natural part of life. Some people embrace those changes in you, but what about those who don't? What if all they see is who you've always been and aren't willing to see the new you? 

Listen · 36:28
When You Love Someone So Much It Doesn'T Matter How Much They Hurt You &Raquo; 581 When You Love Someone So Much It Doesnt Matter How Much They Hurt You Po
When you love someone so much it doesn't matter how much they hurt you

Can love keep the relationship together and override all? A loving person can also hurt you. But is love alone enough to resolve the deeper issues and provide long-term happiness? It's a very importan…

Can love keep the re…

Can love keep the relationship together and override all? A loving person can also hurt you. But is love alone enough to resolve the deeper issues and provide long-term happiness? It's a very important question worth addressing.

Listen · 34:54
Can We Get Past The Issues That Divide Us &Raquo; 580 Can We Get Past The Issues That Divide Us Po
Can we get past the issues that divide us

If you find yourself frustrated by divisive political or values conversations, this episode might be for you. Is there a way to maintain positive interactions despite opposing views? Hoping I can help…

If you find yourself…

If you find yourself frustrated by divisive political or values conversations, this episode might be for you. Is there a way to maintain positive interactions despite opposing views? Hoping I can help you get off the merry-go-round of frustration and find solid ground in your relationships and discussions.

Listen · 42:42
Dealing With Hurtful People Who Won'T Change &Raquo; 579 Dealing With Hurtful People Who Wont Change Po
Dealing with hurtful people who won't change

Have you ever wondered why some people just won’t change no matter how much you try? Don't they see that they are hurtful and toxic? Why can't they just be "normal"? I try to answer all of these que…

Have you ever wonder…

Have you ever wondered why some people just won’t change no matter how much you try? Don't they see that they are hurtful and toxic? Why can't they just be "normal"? I try to answer all of these questions and more in this episode. 

Listen · 47:39

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