Be One.
Waste no more time talking about what a good man is like. Be one. – Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor. At the time of his reign, he was the most powerful man in the world. His now famous private journals, Meditations, weren’t meant for the public to read. They were his private thoughts, ideas he was working out within himself, for his eyes only.
Marcus Aurelius was a Stoic. This did not mean that he wasn’t in touch with his feelings, that’s a misconception about the Stoic philosophy. He was disciplined, very thoughtful, and deliberate about how he expressed his emotions.
He knew that all mastery is self-mastery. A person who is not in control of their own thoughts, words, and behaviors cannot master anything.
While reading his private thoughts, I am struck by the fact that everyone, no matter how intelligent, young, or old, no matter how powerful or powerless, can benefit from examining our motives and thoughts to discover what’s true for us.
Truth is regardless of my perception of it.
Can you accept this?
Do you know your enemies, the enemies of your truth? If what you think is true doesn’t apply to everyone – if you can easily find examples where others are not on the same page with you…this is not simply what you believe that everyone should think about, say, or do, but instances of them doing what may be the exact opposite…then it’s not actually true…it’s true to you.
Truth applies to everything and everyone. It is universal and unchanging. All else is subject to change. This is the nature of nature.
Thoughts aren’t facts. When we act like they are we become violent.
Emotions aren’t facts. When we act like they are we make grievous errors in judgement. I like to consider my emotions as calling me to understand them, but they aren’t to be trusted.
There are many influences on our emotional state, the vast majority being part of a subconscious program that has been running since childhood. They are often the result of negative experiences, or a traumatic event, such as abuse, neglect, or rejection. Being brave enough to examine your emotional state, as did Marcus Aurelius, in the privacy of your own journals, is an act of self-empowerment. A power move.
Just because you believe something to be true, doesn’t make it true, but it does make it true to you.
Beliefs are closer to emotions than to facts. Can you accept this?
Follow your feelings to your truth, and if you, in all honesty, discover there is another option, be brave enough to try it on for size. Many times, our frustrations and restlessness are the result of what we believe should or shouldn’t be happening clashing with what actually is happening.
A few years ago, I met a very angry man who would argue with anyone who even hinted at accepting that “it is what it is.” That phrase infuriated him. He was quick to battle, with a war waging in his head that spilled out into his life. As a result, he was single, friendless, and unemployed. He had many excuses for why that was, but in his world, others were to blame…most times, it was his father who was to blame. When he wasn’t puffed up and fighting, he walked like a defeated old man.
We can fight until we are exhausted, choose to deny reality and distract ourselves from what is right before our eyes, or we can seek clarity.
Powerful people like Marcus Aurelius are thoughtful people. They understand that they are way more than enough just as they are. Unless it is an emergency that calls for immediate action, they reserve the right to think things through before responding. They do not shirk their responsibilities. They are disciplined enough to withhold their opinion. They think twice and speak once because their Word is their bond. They are patient, resourceful individuals who convert challenges into opportunities to know better.
They understand that even though they may (or may not) choose to be in an adverse situation, Adversity shows us to ourselves in ways that ease cannot.
Adversity is a fact of life. If you didn’t have adversity in your life, there would be no need to be heroic. It’s wisdom to consider adversity as an opportunity to become your own hero or shero.
I have learned that there are two ways to learn – through the School of Hard Knocks (pain), or the School of Soft Knocks (wisdom).
Pain is a powerful educator. It is the teaching method of the School of Hard Knocks.
There was a time that I would have told you that I had to fight for everything I ever got in life. That isn’t true, but there were many times that I felt I had no choice but to fight.
After many decades of going to battle each day, I discovered something that seems obvious now, but, in the heat of the battle, it certainly was not – A battleground makes poor farmland. Nothing nutritious and healing has time to grow on a battleground.
Can you relate? Have you found yourself in situations that hurt – some by your own actions, some by the actions of others, some by acts of nature, where you felt that you had no choice but to strike out?
One day I realized that I had been fighting all my life. I was tired of it. I decided to use my ability to imagine in my own service and figure out another way. You see, your imagination gives you an opening…a way to figure out another way. Without it, you won’t be able to imagine anything new.
This is what I learned, and it changed my life: You win some, you lose some, but if you learn from every situation, you win. Every time.
Whatever the situation, I can choose to learn something. It’s okay to say that it hurts, that’s honest, but it’s not okay to use it as an excuse…or a weapon.
Hurt by my own actions – It’s okay, that hurts. Don’t do that again!
Hurt by someone else’s actions – It’s okay, that hurts. This is what not to do. Don’t ever do that!
Hurt by an act of nature – It’s okay, that hurts. I can accept that crap happens. I can adapt!
Adaptation is a powerful form of learning.
Have you heard the phrase, Hurt people hurt people? If you are hurt and choose to act from that hurt, you will often hurt others.
However, in my own writings another layer was revealed – what you feel, and deal with, you heal. It may sound trite, but it’s very difficult to achieve. Sometimes you must work for years to heal an emotional wound, but, like a physical wound, you do have the power to transmute hurt into healing. It doesn’t mean you forget the hurt…it means that you are intent on healing it. You do what must be done to return to health despite it.
Everything???
A couple of decades ago I had a dream that I was driving a car so erratically that I crashed it into a ditch. I got out and crossed a bridge. I walked up to a series of light-colored one-story buildings that I intuitively knew were institutes of higher learning. Three women came out of one of the buildings and approached me. One came up and embraced me. She said, I’m so glad you are here. What would you like to know?
Without hesitation, I replied, Everything.
Yeah…I asked for it…and not long after that, my world turned upside down. I think of it now as graduating from middle school and going straight on to university.
Pain can be a powerful instructor but, thankfully, there is something much more powerful…
Wisdom is the teaching method at the School of Soft Knocks. Think of it like a graduate school for life.
Have you ever been in a space that truly feels like coming home? Protective, life-promoting…like a personal spa or retreat? The School of Soft Knocks is a place where you know, deep inside, that every human being belongs. You are worthy of this wonder simply by being born.
It’s the kind of space that calms the wildest parts of us, the parts that are mistrustful and wary and defensive…a bit feral…the parts that strike first and think about it later.
It’s the space where peaceful silence reigns…where you always have enough time to figure things out because here you can take your time…your time is yours to take, right?
The only entrance requirement is that you must be still and listen. This is the space where you can think…and softly, ever so gently and elegantly, knock on the doors in your mind that are closed, for whatever reason.
This is the space where your Constant Traveler, the voice of your inspiration and natural wisdom, can speak to you and guide you. Your Constant Traveler will never shout or talk over the top of you. It won’t force you to shut up and listen. It is always super patient and will wait for you…forever, if need be.
The School of Soft Knocks invites us to gather the facts. They hold the key to figuring out the best course of action. Action is how we walk in our power.
This space is attractive to other people who wish to learn from this school, as well. They will be delighted to be your companions as you travel along. Rest assured that you will find one another here.
This is what Marcus Aurelius understood – he knew what awaited him out in the world – his reign was filled with problems, chaos, and turmoil – a battleground, and it often was a true battleground. Everyone wanted his attention, his resources, his position, and his country, for themselves.
It would stand to reason that there were very few people that he could trust with his thoughts or his life. He valued them as esteemed traveling companions, but his journals reveal that working through his private thoughts by knocking softly, gently, with elegance…opening the closed doors in his mind…not only refreshed him but also helped him prepare for the day to come.
This is where he got his head on straight – aligned his values with his activities for the day – and became that good man he wrote about.
When Marcus Aurelius was prepared to meet his day, he did so with courage, discipline, fairness, and wisdom in mind – a thoughtful, intentional leader…the kind of leader that he would have been honored to follow.
A daily practice that I describe as Contemplative Writing, is very similar to the introspective writings of Marcus Aurelius. It is where you let the most honorable and compassionate part of you take the lead. It is a powerful way of aligning your values with the activities of your day.
It is wise to keep in mind that, When you are always preparing, you are always prepared.
It is your choice to transform hard knocks into soft knocks, to come home to yourself…to heal your hurts.
You or I may not be the leader of the most powerful country in the world (I must say I’m happy that I’m not, it’s a very difficult role) but we can be the powerful leader of our world.
Waste no more time talking about what a good man (or woman) is like. Be one. – Marcus Aurelius
Are you prepared?
Originally Published on https://akasha111blog.wordpress.com/
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