In the South, screened-in porches are a must. The no-see-ums — tiny, biting flies — can sneak through the smallest openings in a screen. A broken screen, tugged loose by the wind, let them in our spring break house. They left behind clusters of red bites. Each of us, with bites on our cheeks, temples (crazy, right?!), calves, and between our toes, slammed the glass doors to avoid more screen failures. The itching only subsided long after we left our South Carolina visit.

My husband fixed the screen, stopping what we couldn’t even see — gnat-like creatures stealing our sweetness like a snack. We itched endlessly, confused by the invisible attacks, unable to feel the no-see-ums land or hear them buzz around our bodies.

To be bitten unknowingly hurts.

To be seen is, well, indescribably stunning.

I’ve been bitten by surprise:

• When my job was realigned to a new (boring) team.

• When the job I was gunning for vanished.

• When I was sexually harassed.

• When the boss calls you screaming about something you were unaware of and did not own or contribute to the errors.

• When my bonus was docked for having a baby / maternity leave.

The sting from surprises FEELS like:

1. Upset turning into “what did I do wrong?”

2. Anger swirling into “what can I do to reverse or change this?”

3. Sadness when expectations will never be met as you envisioned, the tears stream when it is least ‘convenient’.

4. Stagnation and loss of motivation — a retreat to avoid being hurt again by decisions made in the dark.

   

As May approaches, leaving April’s bites behind, I’ve been exploring the question: is a blatant bee sting better than a no-see-um? Can I open my eyes wider? The fuzzy, buzzing bee lands with purpose on your arm or watermelon at the picnic. You see it coming. You hear the wings flapping. You feel the sting immediately — clear, unmistakable. You know where you stand when the stinger enters your skin or lip. It’s ganna hurt a little bit.

The days that follow a bee sting can be soothed with ice or Benadryl cream. The confrontation of the stinger, though painful in the moment, ultimately hurts differently, as if nervous systems appreciate the warning.

I’ve been seen — and confronted — when I:

1. …heard a mentor inviting me to turn off my mental GPS and take the road less traveled, finding our way intuitively.

2. …was seen by my girls, who imagine a future beyond my last year of physical recovery.

3. …read Loveable by my friend Amber Rae, reflecting on being good versus being overly accommodating.

May Reflection Prompts:

• If I am stung or bitten, how do I want to overcome this to keep going?

• What am I not confident about that’s occurring this May that I need to quickly confront (for myself, not anyone else?)

• What is messy but important that I’m avoiding? (Avoidance will keep ‘itching’ for weeks like a no-see-um bite.)

• Where in my life do I need to choose the honesty of a “bee sting” over the invisible itch of a no-see-um?

Struggling to see your confrontation victories?

If you words are failing you, write an email (you can send or keep it in drafts).

Get help with Clarity in a spring Energy Clearing & Clarity session to brighten and bloom this spring.

Lynn Mull Holistic Career Coach & Author

Career Coach | Author | WellNess Advisor | Reiki Master
I offer Clarity through Reiki healing sessions, and Holistic Career Coaching and Facilitating Teams to professional wellness. I use various tools and methods to speak, write, and provide 1.1 counsel to move out of the stuck into the actions that help you or your teams reach their goals.I found my way because I had to create it.
As a working parent and a sandwich caregiver in my early 30s, I understand the pressures to keep going, provide for my family and prioritize everyone else’s wellbeing.

I looked in many corners and could not find one coach to break into my inner blockages and move my career until Reiki and a Career Coach got me there. We can be all the things to everyone, but first, we must get aligned and intuitively move forward for our own .