I have a theory about why women shift their careers in their 40s and it has everything to do with science.
I’m pretty sure I tried to quit my job everyday starting in 2020. Everyone made me crazy from those late to the call asking questions we had just gone through to the vendor who spelled my name with an “e’ (Lynne for Lynn) constantly, I was short fused on the regular. The negative list was ten pages to every one pro list I could create.
This was not normal for me. I loved the juicy project, the bigger the problem the better, the relationship building was the chess game I loved, the organizational shifts gave me all the dopamine hits I loved. Then, one week, I started hating every task I had to accomplish. I did not feel motivated in a way that was indefinite.
This was hormonal and (therefore) mental and emotional warfare from the inside out. My Hormones and lack of info on their whereabouts cost me my happiness.
This isn’t just about being overly sensitive or dramatic—like when you walk into your dresser and feel the tendons in your pinky toe relocate—this is a true emotional work meltdown. That kind of bruised-toe pain is fleeting. The lingering anger and resentment that builds up during perimenopause isn’t. And no one is talking about how much this impacts us over 40. Hormone shifts—drops and plummets—are a huge factor in why we’re “so over” working in environments that no longer align with who we are
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Recently, has work become unbearable?
Are you unable to motivate yourself to do much of anything, even though your expertise and company haven’t changed all that much?
Are you screaming profanities more often—then feeling ashamed of your inability to calm down at work or at home?
Unlike postpartum hormonal changes, which are (mostly) acknowledged in follow-ups and check-ins, there’s still little infrastructure or conversation around how perimenopause affects motivation, mood, or performance.
It’s easy to find a mom at the playground who’s exhausted from sleepless nights and toddler tantrums. But as we age out of that phase, no longer crawling on the floor with babies, the desire to quit our careers altogether creeps in, and the fear of sounding “unwell” keeps us silent.
Yes, when we gather as women, we might still chat about June’s weird weather, or how the beach was mobbed on the 4th of July, or the coworker who left you to cover two jobs during their long PTO.
But when do we talk about how much we hate what we once loved doing five days a week while at the same time feeling like the hormones are tween-like? It’s becoming an internet sensation around the fluctuations but what about the impact on work?
A new friend recently introduced me to the “We Don’t Care” Club, started by influencer Melani Sanders who has been featured in the New York Times. Her comedic take on perimenopause and Menopause symptoms hits home —and honestly, makes us all feel a little less alone.
Throughout history, women have juggled it all: Caregiving, food sourcing, medicine-making, home-running. Our brains were built for this. And in our prime fertility years, we multitask at a high level; Volunteering, packing for trips, managing calendars, scheduling dentist appointments, and everything in between. Even while sleeping, we’re keeping tabs on it all.
Until we just… literally cannot anymore. Melani takes to IG daily to tell the world what we no longer care about.
We’ve chosen our families, our homes, our communities. But work, particularly when it leans into bureaucracy and micromanagement at the height of our expertise, can start to feel unbearable. I see this all the time with my clients: they’re craving impact over income, autonomy over oversight, and alignment over hustle.
For many of us, perimenopause and menopause feel like cliff-jumping: one day we’re functioning, the next we’re not. Hormones that once helped us now hijack us. And when that happens, the structures around us (like jobs or organizations) that used to feel doable suddenly feel soul-sucking.
Cortisol spikes mimic adrenaline highs and lows—and recovery becomes painfully slow.
Real life looks like hitting a deadline, only to feel exhausted and invisible for weeks.
The inner critic is loud—and your post-deadline slump lasts 3x longer than it did in your 30s.
You’re in fight mode constantly—arguing with your boss, your kids, the guy at the grocery store.
Quitting starts to feel like the only sane option.
There’s no silver bullet. Everyone’s hormonal experience is unique. But here’s what helped me, and what I guide my clients toward:
Get real bloodwork
Functional medicine changed everything for me. I couldn’t get into a local functional gynecologist for months, so I started with Joi and Bloke Wellness (not sponsored). Getting comprehensive info, not just thyroid levels, was a game changer. Hormonal data is everything. Do this at least twice a year.
Support your system
Once I started adding supplements, bioidentical hormones, and other supports, my inner critic softened. I felt like myself again. Good Energy is a fantastic (and long) book or find the author on a podcast for details.
Define your purpose in this stage
I help women identify what brings them joy and what they’re good at now. When you fill your week with that kind of alignment, the harder parts of work become more manageable.
Create a roadmap and find a starting point
Whether it’s shifting jobs, launching something new, or adjusting finances, having a midterm plan brings Clarity. My clients experience a boost in mental outlook just knowing they have a runway toward change.
Laugh with your people
Find your walking buddy, coworker confidant, or Mahjong crew. Laughter and solidarity with other middle-aged women heals. Period. I Love the Modern Elder Academy emails to brighten my week with resources and community about midlife.
If you’ve fantasized about rage-quitting, you’re not broken. You’re human. And your hormones are giving you information.
I’m here to help you tune into what’s in your heart—and create a strategy before you give your company the middle finger.
When in doubt, call me. Let’s make a plan.
