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In his 2023 report "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation", the US Surgeon General at the time, Dr. Vivek Murthy, declared loneliness and social isolation a public health epidemic.Aside from feelin…

In his 2023 report "…

In his 2023 report "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation", the US Surgeon General at the time, Dr. Vivek Murthy, declared loneliness and social isolation a public health epidemic.Aside from feelings of ennui and lacking support structure, loneliness can trigger or increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, Stroke, Depression, Anxiety, and even premature death!So, while he doesn’t quite come out and say it, and he might not have been thinking exactly along those terms when I spoke with him, Steve Fales might have had a brush with death.Steve grew up in a single-parent home. Al…

Perfectionism is something that gets beat into a lot of us. Sometimes literally, as you’ll find out from my guest.Imposter syndrome goes hand-in-hand with perfectionism. You see, when you’re progr…

Perfectionism is som…

Perfectionism is something that gets beat into a lot of us. Sometimes literally, as you’ll find out from my guest.Imposter syndrome goes hand-in-hand with perfectionism. You see, when you’re programmed to hold yourself to extremely high standards, nothing you do seems like it’s good enough. You’re not enough. And what if someone finds out?Now imagine you got ripped off by not one – but two – business partners, and lost all your savings more than once. On top of that, you never graduated college, yet held down job after job that required a college degree, in part because others who …

Do you sometimes feel like you’re mailing it in?Sure, you’re achieving your goals, hitting your numbers, and getting boxes checked on your to-do list. On paper, you’re a success.But it still fee…

Do you sometimes fee…

Do you sometimes feel like you’re mailing it in?Sure, you’re achieving your goals, hitting your numbers, and getting boxes checked on your to-do list. On paper, you’re a success.But it still feels empty, like something’s missing and you’re not really succeeding.How do you know for sure? Who’s there to help you figure it out? And what example are you setting for those who see you as a role model, even if you don’t know they look up to you?These are questions Suresh Bhagchandani found himself grappling with one day while going over his sales numbers with his boss.Suresh was born in…

Battered Woman Syndrome is a commonly misunderstood condition that results from domestic or intimate partner violence.Maybe you’ve known someone in such a situation. Or you’ve at least heard stori…

Battered Woman Syndr…

Battered Woman Syndrome is a commonly misunderstood condition that results from domestic or intimate partner violence.Maybe you’ve known someone in such a situation. Or you’ve at least heard stories about it. And you’ve probably thought, Why do you stay there and take it? Why don’t you leave? There are support networks and shelters who can take you in, why not just go?And wondered, What drives you to try to “fix” the situation and have understanding for your abuser? Why do you act like you owe them a f**king thing?Judy Henderson, like many battered women, found herself in a situat…

Does it sometimes feel like no good deed goes unpunished?What if I told you that no scandal, setback, or stumbling block goes unrewarded, if you’re willing to take the time to solve the puzzle?As a …

Does it sometimes fe…

Does it sometimes feel like no good deed goes unpunished?What if I told you that no scandal, setback, or stumbling block goes unrewarded, if you’re willing to take the time to solve the puzzle?As a puzzle-solver programmed to challenge the status quo, ask questions, and lean into her natural curiosity, Kristy Busija (BYOO-SEE-YA) learned both of these lessons when she got fired for doing the right thing.Growing up, Kristy’s parents instilled classic values – have a good work ethic, act with integrity, abide by the Golden Rule, and catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.These same …

Situations involving stalking can be a gray area.Does the person mean well but are just awkward in their approach? Are you reading too much into it? Let’s not jump to conclusions and end up smearing…

Situations involving…

Situations involving stalking can be a gray area.Does the person mean well but are just awkward in their approach? Are you reading too much into it? Let’s not jump to conclusions and end up smearing an innocent person. We should give the benefit of a doubt until we have our facts straight.All of these are very natural impulses, rooted in solid values that generally speaking serve us well. And they could have cost Idy Marcus dearly.Idy was raised in a very loving home by parents who married and started their family later in life. They adored each other and were connected in every way. This se…

Tomorrow, February 14th, is Valentine’s Day.For some, it’s a joyous celebration of our connection with our spouse, companion, partner, and loved one.For others, it raises questions about why we ne…

Tomorrow, February 1…

Tomorrow, February 14th, is Valentine’s Day.For some, it’s a joyous celebration of our connection with our spouse, companion, partner, and loved one.For others, it raises questions about why we need a holiday to mark something that’s central to our life and our True North.And there are those for whom it’s a source of Grief or pain for various reasons – lack of a life partner, hurt over losing a life partner, or disillusionment over not having found a life partner.But you know what we don’t talk about? Loving ourselves.I just finished reading a book called “Love Yourself Like Your…

Always finish what you start.Don’t give up a good thing; you’re good at it and make a lot of Money at it.The voice in your head is always right.All this sounds like good advice, yes?But what if on…

Always finish what y…

Always finish what you start.Don’t give up a good thing; you’re good at it and make a lot of money at it.The voice in your head is always right.All this sounds like good advice, yes?But what if one day you found out you had been slowly Dying of this advice? I mean, literally, your health was deteriorating and you were wasting away?Tabatha Jones had an intuition for years that something was wrong, based on the challenges she started to face getting out of bed in the morning.At her foundations, nothing really stood out. She grew up in a typical middle class family and learned the values of h…

In our society, we don’t know how to talk about a lot of super important things. We don’t learn, because we’re not taught. And that’s due to longstanding beliefs that we’re supposed to handl…

In our society, we d…

In our society, we don’t know how to talk about a lot of super important things. We don’t learn, because we’re not taught. And that’s due to longstanding beliefs that we’re supposed to handle things a certain way.Think about what happens if your spouse or life partner dies. You’re expected to have a period of enforced mourning. You look weird at best, or heartless at worst, if you keep going to work rather than take bereavement leave. Heaven forbid you take a vacation or something. They say it’s supposed to be funerals, wearing all-black, home alone miserable. Meanwhile, your lif…

Before we begin, let me alert you that the content of this episode includes conversation about Mental Health struggles and suicide, which can be distressing for some people. Don’t worry, we don’t …

Before we begin, let…

Before we begin, let me alert you that the content of this episode includes conversation about mental health struggles and suicide, which can be distressing for some people. Don’t worry, we don’t go into too much detail, but if you are uncomfortable about that kind of thing, you may want to avoid this episode. Imagine it’s 3:00 AM, and your life is coming apart at the seams.You don’t know how you can keep going, and maybe you’re not sure you want to. Even if you believe this will pass if only you could get some Sleep, you really need someone to hear your story and provide you some so…

“Life is short” is one of those cliches that gets thrown around with the idea that you should let things roll off your shoulders or not spend time analyzing the past.The truth is, though, that lif…

“Life is short” …

“Life is short” is one of those cliches that gets thrown around with the idea that you should let things roll off your shoulders or not spend time analyzing the past.The truth is, though, that life is longer than you realize because...A person lives on in the memories of those who knew them, are familiar with their stories, and share these stories so that other people may know them too.Frank Favaro’s grandfathers both died in 2001 when Frank was 27, but they are very much alive for him due not only to their stories, experiences, and lessons, but how they instilled in him both the values …

In the written description of my podcast, Fine Is a 4-Letter Word, I begin by asking:“Wasn’t it just a couple years ago you were sitting on the beach at spring break in Ft. Lauderdale – listenin…

In the written descr…

In the written description of my podcast, Fine Is a 4-Letter Word, I begin by asking:“Wasn’t it just a couple years ago you were sitting on the beach at spring break in Ft. Lauderdale – listening to the Pet Shop Boys, U2, and Def Leppard - with your entire life ahead of you? Now you’re looking back 30-plus years and wondering what the hell happened.”Basically, I’ve just described what used to be called the mid-life crisis. I started the show shortly after I’d embarked on some major mid-stream changes and was hearing similar rumblings from many of my friends. But I’ve long maint…

Remember that time you slammed your hand in the door? I heard you screaming obscenities for days. And depending on how it happened, it might have stung for a minute or caused you pain for a week.But i…

Remember that time y…

Remember that time you slammed your hand in the door? I heard you screaming obscenities for days. And depending on how it happened, it might have stung for a minute or caused you pain for a week.But imagine your hand didn’t heal. Instead, it revealed you were slowly being ambushed by a silent killer. Act One to a new story you never saw coming.This is Susan Jackson Lee’s story, and it ends on a cliffhanger.Susan grew up in a military family as the only daughter in a family full of men, where unsurprisingly she learned the values of discipline, timeliness, and hard work. Her father didn’t…

2024 has been quite a year.I spent most of the year as a nomad, traveling throughout the Southeast United States moving from town to town, housesitting for a lot of awesome cats (and a few awesome dog…

2024 has been quite …

2024 has been quite a year.I spent most of the year as a nomad, traveling throughout the Southeast United States moving from town to town, housesitting for a lot of awesome cats (and a few awesome dogs). It was an amazing adventure that led me to see lots of new places, meet people in real life I’d only known online, and discover a few things about myself along the journey.But as I moved around, I lived with uncertainty. Tonight I would be in this one house, but where would I be tomorrow night? Would I have a place to go the next night after my current gig ended? When would I find out? Not o…

Growing up in the United States, I was fortunate to not know what it’s like to go through a day with bombs falling around me and my dad fighting in the war. For Robin Ayoub, this was his daily reali…

Growing up in the Un…

Growing up in the United States, I was fortunate to not know what it’s like to go through a day with bombs falling around me and my dad fighting in the war. For Robin Ayoub, this was his daily reality, and as he would eventually discover, getting away from it was how he found his way home.Imagine being eleven years old and given 24 hours to learn how to operate a knitting machine because your family's survival depends on it. Then picture yourself going door-to-door every weekend, selling the sweaters you made, knowing you can't come home until every single one is sold. That’s where he lear…

You’ve probably experienced sleep paralysis at some point – that weird “twilight zone” where you’re caught between the conscious world and the world of dreams, aware of your surroundings but…

You’ve probably ex…

You’ve probably experienced sleep paralysis at some point – that weird “twilight zone” where you’re caught between the conscious world and the world of dreams, aware of your surroundings but noticing they have weird shapes.Usually you can break out of sleep paralysis within a few seconds and after catching your breath, you’re fully aware you’re awake again and safe from whatever monster was trying to get you. But imagine being in that twilight zone for more than six weeks, where even though you’re trying to scream and wake yourself up, there’s no way out!This is where Craig A…

Can you feel the sense of dread just thinking about that time in your life when something went horribly wrong and everything you had planned was totally shot to hell?And what’s worse? The fear of c…

Can you feel the sen…

Can you feel the sense of dread just thinking about that time in your life when something went horribly wrong and everything you had planned was totally shot to hell?And what’s worse? The fear of criticism and rebuke from those you count on to be part of your support network or their well-intentioned comments that don’t do a damned thing to help and actually make you feel worse?Lilah Jones faced these questions when she got ripped off for thousands of dollars and almost lost her new house just when she had it in the bag.For Lilah, her values are so important she lists them on her website:…

When I was a kid, I remember having Thanksgiving with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. As an adult, there have been years where my husband and I spent Thanksgiving with just my mom or with…

When I was a kid, I …

When I was a kid, I remember having Thanksgiving with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. As an adult, there have been years where my husband and I spent Thanksgiving with just my mom or with a small group of friends. In the most recent past years, before last year, it’s been having dinner with just one or two friends. My point is, not everyone has a big dinner to go to - and that’s ok. You’re not “less than” if you don’t. And at the same time, it can feel lonely. If this is your situation, you’ve got a few choices here. One, you can figure out a way to alter your situat…