How to Live with Loss
Many people search for this in the middle of the night:
How do I get over this?
How do I move on?
How do I make this stop hurting?
The truth is, Grief is not something you get over. It’s something you learn to live with.
In the Beginning, Grief Can Take Over Everything
In the first few days, weeks, and even months following the death of a loved one, grief often feels overwhelming. It can impact:
It can feel like grief is touching every part of your life at once. When you’re feeling that it’s common to want relief and fast.
As you move forward, grief often looks and feels different. It may not dominate every moment of your day. The waves may become less constant. You may find ways to function, to laugh again, to engage in life. That doesn’t mean the grief is gone.
It means you are growing around it.
Some people describe it this way: your grief doesn’t necessarily shrink, but your life begins to expand. You grow bigger than your grief. There is more room inside you for joy, connection, purpose, and memory alongside the pain.
The Love is still there. The loss is still real. But it isn’t consuming every breath.
So What Actually Helps?
You don’t “get over” a loss by forcing yourself to move on. You learn to live with it by:
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Developing coping skills for when waves hit
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Rebuilding routines and structure
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Learning how to talk about your grief
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Finding ways to stay connected to the person who died
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Allowing both hard Emotions and moments of relief
This is the kind of practical, real-life approach we focus on inside the GRIEF Ladies Facebook Community, a place where people share what it’s really like to live with loss and support one another through it.
There is no deadline for healing. There is no requirement to “be done” with your grief. Learning to live with loss is a gradual process. And it’s okay if you’re still in the part where it feels heavy. You are not behind. You are grieving.
The GRIEF Ladies grew from decades of clinical work, community building, and lived experience. It isn’t a checklist to “get over it.” It’s a path you can re-enter on the hardest days and the ordinary ones.
Kelly Daugherty from Center for Informed Grief and Karyn Arnold of Grief in Common first connected when Kelly was leading a collaborative grief book project and posted in a Facebook group looking for authors. Karyn responded, and from their very first conversation, the connection was instant. They discovered a shared passion for supporting grieving individuals and striking similarities in their approaches and professional paths. Both had worked in hospice, and both believed that there are practical tools that can truly help support someone on their grief journey.
That first book became The Grief Experience: Tools for Acceptance, Resilience, and Connection. From there, their collaboration grew naturally. What began with one project has blossomed into an ongoing partnership including building frameworks, workshops, and now the GRIEF Ladies Podcast to help others navigate life after loss with honesty and hope. Sign up for their newsletter to stay informed about their future ventures!
Karyn Arnold has served grievers for 25+ years as a facilitator, educator, and the founder of Grief in Common, an online community that connects people by shared experiences of loss. With a background in psychology and mind–body work, Karyn blends evidence-informed practice with simple daily actions that help people steady themselves and find support. She has guided thousands of grievers through groups, workshops, and online programs, and partners with clinicians and organizations to make grief resources easier to find and use.
Kelly Daugherty, LCSW-R, FT, BCC, is a clinician, educator, board-certified coach, and founder of the Center for Informed Grief in Malta, NY. A Fellow in Thanatology, Kelly has worked with individuals and families across hospice, schools, and private practice for over two decades. Her commitment to grief work began after her mother’s death during Kelly’s teen years, shaping a career focused on practical, compassionate support. Kelly develops trainings for educators and mental-health professionals, consults with schools on grief-informed practices, and leads community programs that normalize grief while teaching concrete skills. She believes accessible, plain-language tools can change how communities show up for one another.
