Photo by Takuya Nagaoka on Unsplash
Monday was the day of reckoning, I was certain.
My latest lab results were back, and my glucose score was not looking good. My doctor had been warning me for two years that my score was on the high end of the normal range and on the verge of crossing into the pre-diabetic stage. Now my score had crossed the line. From there it was a hop, skip, and a jump to … Diabetes!
I knew what that meant. No ice cream, ever again. No sweetener in my tea. No cookies. No mini-chocolates. And most devastating of all, no daily chai latte to start my day – a morning delight that acts as my coffee surrogate.
That was the line I was not ready to cross.
In a classic comedy sketch, Jack Benny (remember him?), whose character was legendary for being tight-fisted with a dollar, is approached on the street by an armed robber. “Your Money or your life!” shouts the robber. There follows an uncomfortably long silence. “Come on, you heard me — your money or your life?” To which Benny replies, “I’m thinking it over.”
That’s exactly how I feel when confronted with the prospect of forgoing the sweets forever. Life is not meant to be joyless, colorless, bland, and deprived of sweetness. There is pleasure to be had in life – in moderation, of course – and for me, one of life’s greatest pleasures is consuming sweets. It is reasonable to ask whether a life without sweets is even worth living. I’m still thinking it over.
I am not over-indulgent. I don’t insist on a dessert after every meal. I don’t munch on candy bars or snack on M&Ms between meals. But I do enjoy the occasional ice cream and I am physically unable to restrain myself when placed within reach of a cookie tray. Also, I would have to be near death to turn down a slice of pecan pie.
But these very occasional indulgences could hardly explain the steady rise in my glucose numbers, so I considered what might. I dismissed the chai latte – it was off the table and would not be sacrificed. I thought of another suspect, and one I could live without: Throughout the day I flavor each glass of water with a jigger of lemon juice and a packet of stevia, turning water into quick-and-dirty lemonade. This is how I keep hydrated and meet my minimum daily requirement of water. I find lemonade far more appealing than plain water. But perhaps those stevia packets add up to a problem. Under protest, I suppose I could drop the stevia and just drink lemon-flavored water. In any event, it could be a useful chip.
Those familiar with the Kubler-Ross formulation of the five stages of Grief will recognize that I had moved past denial and anger and was ready for bargaining, as I prepared to face my doctor on Monday to get serious about glucose.
But the meeting did not go as anticipated.
My doctor noted the rise in glucose, as expected, but she did not immediately demand a total blockade on all sweets, as I had feared. We talked about what foods might be causing the glucose surge, and whether the cause might actually be a deficiency in another body function, such as insulin production.
When I mentioned the stevia in my ersatz lemonade, she said, “That wouldn’t be causing it.”
Instead of clamping down on all sugar, she prescribed me a continuous glucose monitoring device. Once it has been installed, she said, “Keep a food diary, so we can figure out just what’s causing the spike.”
What a relief! My chai latte is safe for the moment, I’m still on the low end of pre-diabetic, and we have a plan for lowering my score that doesn’t involve coming off all sweets cold turkey.
By the way, another thing that can elevate glucose is stress. The kind of Stress that might be generated by Anxiety over being deprived of sweets for life because of DIABETES! And I know just what to do about anxiety.
I will chill out and enjoy a refreshing chai latte. For my Health, of course.
