Michelle’s journey started, like so many of ours do, in a fog. During the early days of COVID, while homeschooling her three children and navigating uncertainty, she began the 75 Hard challenge—a mental and physical program designed to rewire habits. But what stood out most wasn’t the fitness routine or checklist—it was a moment at 2:30 a.m. when she realized she’d missed one of the program’s required steps. The panic. The frustration. The exhaustion. And then the realization: this was never just about completing tasks—it was about the journey of rediscovering herself.
That moment marked the start of a transformation. One that led her to ask the powerful question many women ask in midlife: Is this it?
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From “Is This It?” to “What’s Next?”Michelle shared something that hit home: when women become mothers, society often stops asking about our dreams. But when we neglect our own purpose, we risk passing that message down to our children. “You wouldn’t want your daughter to give up her dreams,” Michelle says. “So why are you giving up yours?”
Through that realization, Connecting Mamas was born—a community and platform designed to help mothers reclaim their identity and reignite their purpose.
Redefining Genius in MidlifeMichelle’s definition of “genius” goes beyond talent. It’s about soul work—the inner fire that lights us up. Her podcast, Mama Genius, breaks this down using an acronym:
G – Getting kids’ genius: being the role model
E – Empowering moms’ purpose
N – Navigating Emotions and Motherhood
I – Igniting connection and community
U – Unleashing self-care as a pathway to self-Love
S – Sharing success stories to inspire others
For women in midlife, this model becomes a map. As Michelle explains, we’ve often checked off society’s boxes—degrees, kids, Relationships—and find ourselves wondering, Now what?
The “now what” is your genius.
The Power of Community in MidlifeThere’s a moment in every woman’s life when the noise of busyness starts to fade, and a deeper question rises to the surface: Who am I now?
In midlife, that question can feel isolating—especially if the world around us seems comfortable keeping things as they are. But Michelle DeKeyser reminds us that we were never meant to do this work alone. Women are gatherers by nature. For generations, we’ve shared stories, folded laundry together, passed babies from arm to arm, and processed life in community.
What happens when that gathering stops? When our friendships become superficial or transactional? When conversations turn into complaint sessions rather than soul-deep explorations of what’s possible?
Michelle believes it’s time to reclaim the circle.
She introduces us to the concept of the women’s circle—not your typical coffee group or Facebook thread—but a sacred space structured with intention. In this space, there’s no hierarchy. Everyone is a leader. No one’s rushing to fix, solve, or interrupt. There’s silence. There’s reflection. And there’s a kind of listening that is so rare in everyday life it feels almost revolutionary.
And here’s what’s profound: when we sit in that kind of circle—virtual or in person—we realize we’re not as alone as we think. Other women are navigating the same doubts, asking the same questions, and carrying the same hopes. That’s where transformation begins. Not in isolation, but in connection.
Because when women gather with purpose, we don’t just share—we expand.
You Can’t Read the Label from Inside the JarMichelle offered a metaphor so rich and relatable, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since: “We’re all like pickles in a jar. When you’re inside, you can’t read the label on the outside.”
Sit with that for a moment.
We spend our lives immersed in our own thoughts, stories, and patterns. We know something feels off—we may feel stuck, undervalued, or overwhelmed—but we can’t always articulate why. We can’t see ourselves clearly. That’s because we’re living inside the very container we’re trying to define.
The “jar” might be your Marriage, your job, your role as a mother, or even your long-held beliefs about what’s possible for someone “at your age.” And the “label”? That’s your truth. Your purpose. Your evolving identity. It’s what the world sees, but what you struggle to name for yourself.
Here’s the kicker: you can’t read that label alone.
You need someone on the outside—a coach, a mentor, a trusted friend or community—to reflect it back to you. Not to impose a new identity, but to help you recognize the one you already carry inside.
Michelle emphasizes that we all need this. Even coaches need coaches. Even mentors need mirrors. Because self-awareness is a team sport. And midlife is the perfect time to invite someone into your jar—not to rescue you, but to help you rewrite that label with intention and truth.
So if you’ve ever felt like your label no longer fits—or worse, that it was never really yours to begin with—know that you’re not alone. You just need someone to help you see it from the outside. That’s the power of insight. And that’s the power of being seen.
Michelle reminds us that the path forward in midlife isn’t about doing more. It’s about being more. She helps women take small steps toward their big visions—by first getting clear on where they are and where they want to be.
If you’re feeling stuck, lost, or simply ready to evolve—this episode is your call to action.
Because After 40 isn’t the end of the story—it’s where we start writing our most powerful chapters.
The Right Side of 40 is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
Originally Published on https://deborahheiserphd.substack.com/
