There is an idiom out there which states “always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” It describes someone who consistently supports or contributes to the success of others but never seems to achieve the same level of success or importance themselves. When it comes to interviewing, I have been the bridesmaid before (more than once).
I crushed the first qualifying interview. I had a great second phone interview with the hiring manager. The in-person interview was a series of one-on-one sessions and then a group speech where I had to walk through my work history in a formal presentation. I left the meetings feeling like I did well.
About a week later, the hiring manager called me back. He said, “Dave, I am just having a hard time deciding between you and another candidate. Can you come into the office one more time, I just need to ask you some questions to be able to make up my mind.”
Here is where I failed to control the situation. Instead of completing additional preparation, I went in thinking that if I emphasized enough of that I had done, that should be enough to get me over the top. It was not.
I was in the office all of five minutes. The hiring manager asked me a few questions, I answered as best I could, but I was all reactive – not proactive. For the first time in the process, I felt I had missed an opportunity. Sure enough, a week later I was told by the leader they had chosen the other person.
In the final article on our Time-Optimized Job Interviewing series, we are going to discuss control, the C in PEC.
From my book, The Time-Optimized Life:
You own your time. Sure, others impact, affect, and sway what you can and can’t do. However, it is important to assume the responsibility of your time and be a steward of its use. That means getting proactive and not reactive. So many people struggle with time management because they do not like to say no, disappoint others, look selfish, seem distant, or come across as not caring. Control here does not deny assistance to others but provides your time more on your terms. That is where the correction or adjustment gets instituted. Corrected control is getting back on track, or diverting from preparation and/or execution to keep an original timeline.
Control in the interview process is about two things: managing the time allocated for the session and controlling the narrative that reflects your capabilities. The key is to remain composed and keep the discussion aligned with your strengths and the job requirements.
One of the most effective ways to maintain control is by creating a strategic response framework. This method involves organizing responses into three main points:
1) Reaffirm the job requirements and how your skills align
2) Share a relevant accomplishment or experience
3) Pose a question that keeps the conversation on track.
By sticking to this structure, you prevent yourself from rambling and ensure your responses are concise and focused.
In my situation, I failed to use this framework. Instead of leading with targeted points that emphasized my fit for the role, I allowed the hiring manager to dictate the flow of the conversation. Had I employed a strategic response framework, I could have used each question as an opportunity to anchor the conversation back to my strengths.
Another technique for maintaining control is to establish “pause points.” These are moments where you intentionally take a brief pause to collect your thoughts, reset your focus, and ensure that your next response aligns with your key talking points. A simple technique is to take a small sip of water, adjust a note, or glance down at a prepared outline. It signals to both you and the interviewer that you are composed and thoughtful, not scrambling for words.
Download chapter 1 and learn the concept of using your time proactively.
During the interview, control also means knowing when to redirect. If the conversation drifts into areas where you feel less confident, steer it back toward your strengths. For example, if asked about a skill you are not well-versed in, you can acknowledge it honestly but quickly pivot to a related skill where you excel. This technique not only shows self-awareness but also reinforces your value proposition to the interviewer.
Lastly, control extends beyond the interview room. It’s about controlling the follow-up process. Immediately after the interview, take a moment to summarize key points discussed, noting where you excelled and areas you could have handled better. Then, draft a follow-up email that reinforces your interest, addresses any concerns that arose, and reiterates your alignment with the job requirements.
In my case, a targeted follow-up email might have helped mitigate the reactive impression I gave during that final five-minute session. By taking control of the narrative post-interview, you can shape how the hiring manager perceives your candidacy even after the meeting has ended.
Control is not about dominating the conversation or overriding the interviewer’s agenda. It’s about staying composed, strategically directing your responses, and reinforcing your value at every turn. That way, whether you get the job or not, you walk away knowing that you controlled what you could and left nothing unsaid or underemphasized.
With the PEC framework now complete, consider how you can apply these principles to your next interview. Preparation sets the stage, execution delivers the message, and control ensures your narrative remains strong from start to finish.
David Buck is the author of the book The Time-Optimized Life, coauthor of The Retirement Collective, and owner of Kairos (Time) Management Solutions, LLC. Learn how to apply the concepts of proactively planning and using your time. Take the Time Management Analysis (TMA), the Retirement Time Analysis (RTA), or all the other free resources offered to help bring more quality time into your life.
The post Time-Optimized Job Interviewing – Part 3 Control first appeared on Infinity Lifestyle Design.
