This time, I have an interesting subject. I want to talk about Shadow! What is that? According to Carl Jung, we push all the traits we have, the desires we have that we judge as not positive, into the shadow. And there is also the shadow gold, the so called positive traits that we do not want to acknowledge in own, in ourselves. So we push them away.

We tend to protect what is in our shadow onto others. I mean, how often have we met somebody and said: Oh, I don’t like (s)he is so………. The reality is that this is a character trait that we also have and we don’t like it. We judge it in ourselves and therefore in others. And we become unconscious of having that judgment. 

Pushing traits, pushing anything into the shadow, is not only not helpful, it actually hurts us and others. We become victims of people who have that particular trait. Interestingly, I have found that the universe tends to show us what is in our shadow by presenting us with people who exhibit that character trait.

If something is in my shadow, I can not see that I am acting in a certain, yet others can see it clearly. That also means, I am a victim in regard to Relationships I’m in. What is the primary relationshipI am in? I am in a relationship with myself. Can I be in a relationship with myself if I push stuff that which is a part of who I am away? I also have a difficult time being in relationship with other people. 

So how do we come whole? integrate the shadow? The question is: How do I do It? The easiest way to talk about is with using an image that came to me. What if we start dancing with the shadow? Now, in order to dance with anybody, you need to get to know them. That means I need to start exploring my shadow. I need to find out what is in my shadow. When I do that and if I’m honest with myself, I often find that I express the same trait, most likely in a slightly different way. And having worked with my own shadow, I can absolutely attest to the fact that that can be very uncomfortable. It sucks! I don’t want to see that is why I pushed it into the shadow and forgot about it. It is so much easier not to look at it.

If we are willing to recognize the underlying energy, then we can often see how we express it So once I have an idea of what is in my shadow, I can begin to have a relationship with it. I can dance with it.

In the beginning, the dancing is probably going to be pretty awkward, especially. I mean, just imagine dancing with someone that you are not sure you want to dance with. There are some wrong moves. You may be stepping on each other’s toes. And it may be feeling really strange. The more we do it, the more practice we get, the smoother it becomes,

From growing up as kids, we are so entrained to be good people. We get told: Oh, you made mommy or daddy sad! You did …….. wrong. If we hear this over and over again, we start judging it negatively within ourselves, and that is when we start pushing things into the shadow.

In reality, we are a spectrum, anything from good to bad, from being the best possible person, let’s call it an angel, to the worst possible person. We are a spectrum. We have the capability of expressing each aspect of the spectrum, and we choose which one we want to express. We really need to understand that each one is available to us for choosing

One of the big benefits of Dancing with the shadow is that we get out of the self- judgment. How much do we judge ourselves if we do something wrong? We get into a different kind of relationship with ourselves. We get into accepting all aspects of ourself. How does somebody else get us to do certain things? By pointing out that we are not good.

As I said, I know, because I am doing this dance with my shadow and, at times, it is so uncomfortable, so disappointing. Oh my God, here I go, I’m doing exactly what I was judging in that other person. This isnot a fun place to be. And yet, there is freedom in being willing to explore it, because now I can stop judging myself. Now I’m more aware of even how I express certain things, what may be the underlying energy in the way I act or react towards others. Therefore,  I want to invite you have the courage to explore your shadow, and if you have the courage, the universe will do everything to present you with ways to discover it and then start making peace with it. Start dancing with it. Sometimes you dance well, sometimes it’s not that great, but it’s better than not knowing at all. So have a great time and enjoy dancing with the shadow you.