Pets: dogs, cats, birds, horses, goats, hamsters, snakes, lizards, fish. I could go on and probably not cover all of the creatures that make it into our hearts and lives. For these we will grieve. Our Grief will match the intensity of our connection to the animal. (I’m going to use the word animal but I am referring to all the creatures that enter our lives and take up residence in our hearts.)

For some of us, our pets are our children. For some, they are our working companions. And for others, they are service animals or emotional support.

Our grief for those that get into our lives and hearts will have the intensity of the relationship they hold in our life. We don’t grieve differently because it is for an animal. I have often heard “Why is she so upset? It is just a dog.” For some, yes it is just a dog. But for others our pets are a big 
— very big — part of our lives.

We relate to stories of children grieving the death of a pet. We adults understand that. They are children. They don’t understand death and never coming back. BUT as adults we know life. We understand it’s “just” an animal so why are we crying, feeling lost and upset?

Grief is an emotional response to a loss. Loss of a person, yes, but there are many kinds of losses: loss of a job, of a relationship, a friendship and yes, loss of a pet. SO many kinds of losses and we will grieve all of them in the same way we grieve a physical death. 

We grieve from our emotions not our minds. We grieve in the way we handle other stressors in our life — tears, anger, or avoidance to name a few.

Grief is about our connection to that which we have lost. As my Baxter cat sits beside me at the computer right now, supervising this blog, I know I will grieve as deeply for him as I would many people.

Something More… about For all the creatures who take up residence in our hearts…

Sometimes we are faced with the approaching death of a pet. We carry an extra burden in that we can choose a more timely, less difficult death for our pet—but the agony of making that decision…! My booklet, A Place In My Heart: When Our Pets Die offers direction and support during the difficult and seldom understood time of a dying pet.

Originally Published on https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about

Barbara Karnes Registered Nurse

Barbara Karnes, RN Award Winning End of Life Educator, Award Winning Nurse, NHPCO Hospice Innovator Award Winner 2018 & 2015 International Humanitarian Woman of the Year

While at the bedside of hundreds of people during the dying process, Hospice Pioneer Barbara Karnes noticed that each death was following a near identical script. Each person was going through the stages of death in almost the same manner and most families came to her with similar questions. These realizations led Barbara to sit down and write Gone From My Sight, "The Little Blue Book" that changed the hospice industry.