I’ve frequently said that “other people die, not me or anyone close to me.” It’s a statement that seems to fit most people’s attitude toward death. “I’m not going to talk about death. I’m not going to make any plans, like an Advanced Directive. I’ll address those issues later” is basically how we approach end […]

First let’s clarify the word dying. Aside from the fact that we are all dying a bit with every breath we take, that life is a terminal illness, there comes a time when the body’s breathing, functioning ends. The above is the time I am referring to when I say dying is not a medical […]

Terminal restlessness is a medical term for agitation as end of life approaches. It usually begins one to three weeks before death from disease or old age. The restlessness shows itself  by random body movements, hands picking the air or clothing, mumbling, talking but not making sense, by just not being settled and quiet. The […]

Dear Barbara, I work for a hospice. We have had a couple of patients die by suicide. Do you have any suggestions on care for our staff as they are having difficulty processing these deaths?  Most people who can’t be fixed think about suicide in the months before death. Interestingly, very few actually do it. […]

First I’m going to switch from the word Alzheimer’s to the word dementia. Alzheimer’s is a specific disease associated with dementia. Dementia as defined by the Oxford Language Dictionary is a “condition characterized by progressive or persistent loss of intellectual functioning, especially with impairment of memory and abstract thinking and often with personality change, resulting […]

I just finished answering five comments from my YouTube video on Morphine. There is so much misunderstanding, anger, and outright hate surrounding hospice and narcotic use. Why? What has happened to cause such vitriol?  My first response is lack of education. Lack of time spent with primary caregivers and families teaching them about pain management […]

Dear Barbara, what can you tell me about any differences in believers and non-believers as they approach death? It’s interesting, it seems that lately I have gotten several questions dealing with “believers” going  to heaven and “non-believers” being more frightened than believers. So here are my thoughts.  I realize I will not please everyone with […]

We, who work in end of life care, offer guidance, directions, information, how-to’s and what-to-do’s but after the words are given and repeated over and over what do we do? What do we do when there is nothing more to say? What do we do when we have no answers to give? When no amount […]

As I write this, I am thinking I may stir up some feelings. Please remember my goal is to give you something to think about. Filling out an Advance Directive when you are healthy is different than filling one out when you are elderly or living with a serious illness. When we are healthy we […]

I received a letter from a man who had been very ill. During some of that time he was delusional, confused, disoriented and agitated. His family has told him that during the time of his illness he was mean, uncooperative, a really nasty person. He is now puzzled by how he could possibly be that […]