As a new widow (that word sounds strange and startling) I have had many new insights. In my work in end of life, the focus has been on approaching death. Grief has been an afterthought, not a primary issue. With Jack’s death, I know how powerful grief is. Emotionally, now a month after Jack’s death, […]
Death has touched us all, some more recently than others. Grief has no actual timeline, no end point where we are suddenly “fine.” Each of us responds to our loss in different ways. Each of us in our own way and on our own time figure out how to go on living without our special […]
The physician is frontline, the top of the pyramid in healthcare. All care follows from there. The physician can set the tone for the entire patient experience. How do you set that tone to be a positive experience for the patient? Be honest, open, and direct. Talk at a fifth grade level, and not rushed. […]
Words. How we say them and how they are heard are often two different things. This morning my husband and I had a few words over what I gave him for breakfast. I would say it was a “tirade.” He would say it was an “explanation.” That little exchange got me thinking about how words […]
“I just wonder how individuals deal with getting discharged from Hospice because the patient didn’t decline quickly enough for Medicare?” is a question I received recently– and it’s not the first one of its kind I’ve received. Why is the patient being discharged, you ask? Is it because the patient just didn’t decline as rapidly […]
Dear Barbara, I am a hospice nurse struggling with going back to work while still deep in grief after losing my mom. How/when did you go back to work? I’m doing all the things I’d advise my patients’ family members to do when grieving. Just broken and lost. Any and all advice is welcome. When […]
Dear Barbara, I cared for my Mama in my home up until she passed. Hospice care was only for a week. I received their package of paperwork, along with one of your books, “Gone From My Sight.” I was told by the head/charge nurse not to read the book right away, but rather wait a […]
As most of you know my husband died September 18. It was my turn to walk on the other side of hospice. He was diagnosed in May with cancer of the lung. At 89, we decided treatment would hinder his quality of living. At 89, any disruption of our “normal” can turn into a downward […]
I often do some of my best thinking during those hours at night when I am awake. Recently, as I tried to go back to sleep at 3:30 AM, I started thinking about comfort care and morphine use during the end of life process. Picture this: there is breathing distress while the hospice nurse is present. She […]
When it comes to looking at how long someone diagnosed with a life-threatening illness has to live, we tend to give people more time than they actually have.Doctors do it, family does it. It is the hospice nurse or end of life doula’s job to be the realist, to guide all present. Families give more […]
