Why do we, the watchers, get so caught up in remembering the labor of dying? Because we don’t know how people die. We just have the movies and TV that show us a clean, smooth, gentle, “say something profound and close your eyes” kind of dying. Well, it doesn’t happen that way. Oh, yes, once […]
Barbara, What do you believe the person dying is experiencing as they approach death? I do not know for sure since I have yet to experience approaching death, but here is what I have come to believe from the many deaths I have been present for. I believe we die the way we have lived […]
I was asked what I recommend for hospice volunteer training. What guidance is needed to begin working with end of life situations? As I prepared to write my thoughts, I realized this information is not just important for hospice volunteers, but for anyone working with end of life situations — hospice professionals (including office and […]
A friend went to an oncologist for a medical problem. Yes, there was a problem, the doctor said – and then proceeded to explain in complicated medical terminology. Words and explanations that were totally out of my friend’s (and most people’s) knowledge and comprehension. A personal and all-too-common example comes from the time my mother […]
Dying is not like it is in the movies. There are generally no important words or messages given followed by breathing peacefully stopping. Instead there are strange sounds, messy bodily functions such as peeing, pooping, and spitting as well as aimless movements of hands, arms, and general restlessness. The dying person is like a woman […]
A hospice nurse asked if we, the medical caregivers, should be taking scheduled or frequent blood pressures when caring for someone whose end of life is approaching. That question made me think about how tuned into medical procedures we healthcare workers are. Blood pressures, lab work, pulse, respirations, and temperature — all routinely taken and […]
Relationships are challenging. We don’t always get from them what we want or need. As death comes, the yearning for what we didn’t get or have with this person increases. When I was caring for my mother in the months before she died, I realized all the things I wanted from her and never had. […]
We health workers feel we have to do something. We have to take blood pressure, pulse, temperature, check peeing and pooping, and do assessments. With approaching death, it isn’t so much doing something as it is just being there. Emotional support, guidance for caregivers, and listening are our best tools. Addressing humanity is end of […]
September 18th is the two year marker of my husband’s death. Do I say anniversary? It sounds rather celebratory to use that word. Well — I guess it is a bit of a celebration in that I’m doing very well. After 65 years of having Jack in my life, I can say I am doing […]
Grief affects us all in one way or another — the loss of a job, the loss of a friend, of a relationship, a physical death. We all carry the scars of grieving. As we travel this road of living, our life will never be the same following any of the many deaths we experience. […]
