“You often can’t see the forest for the trees” is one of the many things I learned being a caregiver. Now, months after my husband’s death, I have been thinking, “Barbara, you know the signs of approaching death. Signs of months, weeks, days, and hours. How did you not see them with your own husband?” […]

I was sent a Los Angeles Times article yesterday because my booklets were cited as an educational tool at a Death Cafe in the city. It reminded me of a time several years ago when a local Death Cafe leader asked to screen my short film New Rules For End of Life Care in a […]

We used to have grandma’s body “laid out” in the parlor and family and friends came to our home with support and food. Grandma died in the home and we said goodbye to her in our home. Gradually, we moved from home gatherings to funeral homes and churches. An internet search says funeral homes began […]

Dear Barbara, Will you discuss palliative sedation? Palliative sedation is a term used by hospice, palliative care, and medical professionals to describe giving large doses of sleep-inducing medications to induce unconsciousness. It is a pain management technique used when all other pain management options have been unsuccessful. It is not routinely used. I would even say […]

FOOD! We eat to live. It sustains living. Everyone and everything needs some form of food, of nourishment, to maintain life. Animals (and that includes humans), plants, insects, all need some form of food to live. It seems that with humans, we add to the nourishment aspect of eating a social component as well as […]

I was thinking about hospice volunteer training. What makes a good training program? I am hearing stories about the lack of professional staff training for new hires, which led me to wonder about volunteer training.  So—here are my thoughts for a hospice volunteer training program: At the first meeting of the training, have a discussion […]

I hear “don’t tell mom” way too frequently. Mom has a life threatening illness or may even be showing signs of approaching death and her family says to me as I walk in the door, “don’t tell mom.”  They  want to protect her. They don’t want to worry her or scare her. SO everyone is […]

In response to “how are you,” “I’m fine” seems to be a universal reply from people suffering. This suffering can be the result of pain, grief, illness, family upheaval, or any other major distress a person is experiencing. Well, my mother would have told you everything and more than you’d ever want to know in response […]

There is no “if” in dying – only “when.” Yet we act like (and/or pretend) we will live forever. We make no advance directive and assign no power of attorney or durable medical power of attorney. We don’t tell others our thoughts or wants regarding the ending of our lives. We don’t prepare others close […]

“You can’t use an old map to explore a new world.” ~Albert Einstein       Taking care of someone at end of life is different from taking care of someone who is going to get better. The challenge is that most people, including healthcare professionals, don’t know this. Most use “old maps to explore this […]