By Jerry Zezima
A young orthodontist with what I hope is good eyesight recently said I have a Hollywood smile. I didn’t want to press my luck by asking if he meant I should star in a horror movie.
So I was greatly relieved when I saw that the new retainers he made for me don’t have fangs.
I went to the Stony Brook University School of Dental Medicine earlier this year for my annual followup, which was actually my biennial followup because I forgot to go last year, and saw Dr. Eric Zhang, who said my retainers were holding up nicely.
I held them up.
“Nice,” he said.
In the intervening five months, however, the retainers began to erode. A hole developed in the lower one and there was a crack in the upper one.
It was fitting since a hole and a crack are what I have in my head.
So I went back to Stony Brook and saw Dr. Robert Zhou, a second-year resident from San Francisco.
“Did you leave your heart there?” I asked him.
“Yes,” he replied.
“You should see a cardiologist,” I said. “Did you leave your teeth in San Francisco?”
Dr. Zhou’s smile — also of the Hollywood variety — provided the answer.
“Do you have retainers?” I wondered.
“No,” the doctor answered. “But I did have Invisalign in high school. It was a cool experience.”
I had Invisalign — also called invisible braces because you can’t see them when they are on your teeth — when I started as a patient at the dental school. Eventually they came off (the braces, not my teeth) and I got retainers, which keep my pearly whites straight while I am sleeping and, of course, dreaming of being a movie star.
“For your new retainers, you won’t have to make an impression,” Dr. Zhou said.
“I always make an impression,” I told him. “Sometimes it’s not so good.”
He meant that I wouldn’t have to go through the same routine I did when my old retainers were made. It entailed sitting in a chair while narrow, U-shaped trays were filled with alginate — a gooey substance a lot like spackle, only not as tasty — and pressed over my teeth.
The impressions were then molded, heated and made into clear plastic retainers.
“This time,” Dr. Zhou said, “your retainers will be made with a 3-D printer.”
He gave me a pair of cool sunglasses — not for a celebrity look but to keep me from spitting in my own eyes. Then he waved a wand over my upper and lower teeth.
“Is the wand magic?” I asked.
“In a way,” Dr. Zhou said. “But it won’t make you disappear.”
“Some people wouldn’t mind if I did,” I said.
The wand made a digital scan of my teeth that would be sent to a 3-D printer to create hard dental models.
“A suck-down machine will be used make your new retainers,” explained Dr. Zhou, who said I could pick them up at my next appointment a week later.
When I arrived, I went in a back room and saw the small device, in which plastic is sucked down on models to make retainers that are cut out, trimmed and washed.
“Here they are,” Dr. Zhou said, handing me the new retainers.
I had a tough time getting them over my top and bottom teeth, but eventually they snapped on. I had an even tougher time getting them off.
“I have a hook you can use,” the doctor suggested.
“I’d feel like a trout,” I said.
Finally, I reached in the back of my mouth and, with a fingernail, lifted them out.
“They will loosen up,” Dr. Zhou promised. “And you will keep your Hollywood smile.”
“Brad Pitt will be jealous,” I said. “I guess I made a good impression after all.”
Copyright 2026 by Jerry Zezima
Originally Published on http://jerryzezima.blogspot.com
