You’ve heard people say, “Good things come to those who wait.” Most of us absorbed that lesson somewhere along the way — save the good stuff, delay the pleasure, wait until you’ve earned it. But my guest today says that idea backfires.

My guest is Ian Bogost, a contributing writer at The Atlantic and a professor at Washington University in St. Louis. His new book is The Small Stuff.

Some of the things we discuss are:

• The three different types of contentment — and why we tend to overlook the most available one
• What the famous marshmallow test actually got wrong about delayed gratification
• Why saving the perfume, the outfit, or the “good china” for a special occasion might be backfiring
• The one-step trick to noticing small pleasures without having to add anything new to your routine
• Why gratification isn’t the same as mindfulness — and why Ian has issues with how mindfulness gets sold to us
• How modern life has quietly stripped away small sensory pleasures (Ian calls it “dematerialization”)
• Why you don’t have to choose between being present and taking a picture — you can do both
• How stacking tiny moments of gratification can build a buffer that makes hard days hurt less
• The Therapist’s Take: My top three strategies for finding more small pleasures starting today

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Links & Resources

The Small Stuff

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Amy Morin Therapist, Bestselling Author, Host of the Mentally Stronger Podcast

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast. Her books on mental strength, including 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, have sold more than 1 million copies and been translated into more than 40 languages.

She’s practiced therapy for over 20 years and she’s a sought after speaker whose TEDx talk, The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong, has become one of the most popular talks of all time with more than 22 million views.

Amy lives on a sailboat in the Florida Keys.