Mindfulness and Grief: Finding Your Way Back to the Present Moment
Grief has a complicated relationship with time.
It pulls you backward into memories — replaying moments, conversations, things you wish had gone differently. It pushes you forward into fear — worrying about a future that now looks nothing like you imagined. The present moment, the only place where healing can actually happen, can feel like the hardest place to land.
Mindfulness practices work directly with this. By gently training your attention toward what’s happening right now — your breath, your body, the sensations around you — mindfulness can give you a foothold in the present when grief is pulling you in every direction.
In this episode of the GRIEF Ladies podcast, Holly McNeill joins Kelly and Karyn to talk about how mindfulness and meditative practice can support you through bereavement, the P.E.R.L.O.V.E. framework she developed for moving through suffering with intention, and the real relationship between gratitude, acceptance, and grief.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode
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How mindfulness shifts your relationship to painful Emotions — from being consumed by them to being able to observe them
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Why consistent practice builds your capacity to feel grief without being swept away by it
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How gratitude and grief can exist at the same time — and why gratitude isn’t about bypassing your pain
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What it actually means to be present with acute grief, without requiring the pain to stop first
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The P.E.R.L.O.V.E. framework as a structured, step-by-step way to move through suffering with Clarity and self-agency
A Note on Acceptance
Acceptance is one of the most misunderstood concepts in grief. It doesn’t mean your loss was okay. It doesn’t mean you’re done grieving. It means finding a way to acknowledge what is true without being consumed by fighting against it. Holly speaks to this distinction in a way that is both honest and deeply compassionate.
About Holly McNeill
Holly McNeill — known as The Mindfulness Architect — is a mindfulness educator and coach with more than two decades of study across neuroscience, psychology, spirituality, and Buddhism. After experiencing profound personal loss and a significant period of identity disruption, Holly developed the P.E.R.L.O.V.E. Formula: a structured framework for moving through suffering toward self-awareness, agency, and peace. Her work helps people understand how their minds work under Stress so they can engage with pain more consciously — and find their way through it.
The GRIEF Ladies grew from decades of clinical work, community building, and lived experience. It isn’t a checklist to “get over it.” It’s a path you can re-enter on the hardest days and the ordinary ones.
Kelly Daugherty from Center for Informed Grief and Karyn Arnold of Grief in Common first connected when Kelly was leading a collaborative grief book project and posted in a Facebook group looking for authors. Karyn responded, and from their very first conversation, the connection was instant. They discovered a shared passion for supporting grieving individuals and striking similarities in their approaches and professional paths. Both had worked in hospice, and both believed that there are practical tools that can truly help support someone on their grief journey.
That first book became The Grief Experience: Tools for Acceptance, Resilience, and Connection. From there, their collaboration grew naturally. What began with one project has blossomed into an ongoing partnership including building frameworks, workshops, and now the GRIEF Ladies Podcast to help others navigate life after loss with honesty and hope. Sign up for their newsletter to stay informed about their future ventures!
Karyn Arnold has served grievers for 25+ years as a facilitator, educator, and the founder of Grief in Common, an online community that connects people by shared experiences of loss. With a background in psychology and mind–body work, Karyn blends evidence-informed practice with simple daily actions that help people steady themselves and find support. She has guided thousands of grievers through groups, workshops, and online programs, and partners with clinicians and organizations to make grief resources easier to find and use.
Kelly Daugherty, LCSW-R, FT, BCC, is a clinician, educator, board-certified coach, and founder of the Center for Informed Grief in Malta, NY. A Fellow in Thanatology, Kelly has worked with individuals and families across hospice, schools, and private practice for over two decades. Her commitment to grief work began after her mother’s death during Kelly’s teen years, shaping a career focused on practical, compassionate support. Kelly develops trainings for educators and mental-health professionals, consults with schools on grief-informed practices, and leads community programs that normalize grief while teaching concrete skills. She believes accessible, plain-language tools can change how communities show up for one another.
