“Showing up” can be hard to do in person until we learn how to breathe, listen, have a few stories on hand to facilitate connection

Jerome Deroy the CEO of Narativ discovered that we “hit the stage” to perform at a live event on the same day when we were compelled to  practise what we preach  – “Show up and be authentic.”  The fact that we were separated by thousands of miles and had not talked about it was pretty amazing, but not the main point of this post. 

So here’s what happened. I decided to honor my New Years’ intention to perform stories live. So I drove down to Manhattan, navigating around the countless Uber drivers who are zipping up and down streets like mosquitoes. It’s actually a good performance prep Exercise because trying to ensure that I was not going to be hit and/or hit one of these messengers was so unnerving that by the time I arrived at the new “Rodneys”* at the 1st comedy club on  First Avenue, performing in front of a Moth event in front of a  live audience with untested material didn’t feel that challenging ..for at least a few minutes or so. 

The reason  that I had chosen this particular night and this venue was that the event was being held in the same space where  comedian Rodney Dangerfield had his club decades ago.  He was a Queens guy so I took this coincidence as a positive omen. 

So there was a great positive vibe at this club and all was well until I heard how my fellow Moth-ites were playing with the night’s theme -”Something that went wrong that you survived.”  The tellers were inspiring but quite dark. Death, encounter with criminals, loss – not the energy I needed in the room, in the event I was called to do my story.  

My story was light, funny and had great comic moments. Only one problem – it was the wrong story. 

It wouldn’t work.  So I prayed “please don’t pick me” every time the organizer put their hand in the bag to draw out the next name.

In between chanting, praying and asking myself “Why did I do this? I could be home doing something else “ mMy inner Queens Girl Coach was working her way through my memory files to see what she could excavate and put to use should they call my name.  She was not backing down and having me exit the venue without giving it my best efforts. It was amazing how fast our brains work when we are in a bit of a panic.

I made it through the event without presenting a full five minute story.  However, I along with others were invited to present the first or last line of my bit   so I got up on the stage, brought my new story with me and owned my space on the stage. I then put this very long run on sentence to use.  

“ I never got in trouble growing up, but when I met my Irish Dub husband decades ago, I found myself having conversations with police in France, England, Ireland and Canada.” 

I got a huge laugh.  

What I re- learned about doing live events that night:

• It doesn’t matter if you are a pro – every situation is different. 
• Make sure you have the right story. 
• Test your story – out loud
• Have a back up story or two ready in case the energy in the room is not what you expected. 
• Don’t give up and don’t walk away from the opportunity to “fail” creatively
• Don’t take yourself too seriously

   If you’d like to listen to the full episode click on this link and visit the Narativ’s Inc page. If you’d like to see our expressive faces visit us here. YouTube.  The podcast provides helpful tips that cover these points.

•  Why creating guidelines creates safety for your audience
• How structure builds confidence (for you and for them)
• The power of taking one breath before your first word
•  Why you can’t “get your story wrong” — because it happened to you
•  And how real connection beats performance techniques every time

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Julienne Ryan Humorist, Speaker, Trainer, Facilitator, Coach

Julienne B. Ryan began her professional career at age five when she did TV commercials and learned important things like “the teamsters always eat first,” her social security number and how to endorse checks for bank deposit.

Ryan studied psychology in college because she wanted to understand humans. She conducted her “field work” in a variety of roles, hearing the phrases “merger synergies, reorganizations, downsizing and rightsizing for change” more times than she cares to mention.

Later she enrolled in an Ivy League graduate school where she paid oodles of money to validate her prior on-the-job learning experiences. However, she did learn to name drop up-to-date theories and trendy psychologists with alarming ease.

Ryan evolved into working in “Talent Management,” a fancy way of saying “try to find people and keep them moderately happy.” With inadequate budgets and staff allocations, she had to find creative ways to encourage her staff to work effectively. These ranged from begging and borrowing resources, improvising childcare, telling stories and even giving snacks as rewards. She tried to convince herself that working a bazillion hours and “multi-tasking” equaled achievement.

Her work took place in cubicles, conference rooms or, with luck, in offices with a door. Occasionally she would make the time to emerge from her allotted real estate to really talk to people. Ryan learned something transformative in the process:

Yes, she was effective. But not because she used fancy theories – or gave great snacks. Ryan’s success, her staff believed, was a result of her uncanny knack for weaving storytelling with humor to motivate and encourage them. Crucially, they encouraged Ryan to de-emphasize “that normal HR stuff” and focus on bringing her unique storytelling skills to a broader stage.

Thanks to them, Ryan continues to collect, connect and tell stories in her work helping people find their “true selves in the world of work.

She is the author of the humorous, all true "The Learned It In Queens Communications Playbook - Winning Against Distraction!".that now includes a workbook and is available at booksellers across the globe..

She is a guest contributor to The Procurement Foundry, LifeBlood, and the global storytelling community.

Certifications include
Accumatch (BI) Behavior Intelligence
Narativ Applied Storytelling Methodologies
Collective Brains – Mentorship Methodologies