Have you noticed you’re a better wedding guest after you’ve had a wedding? You RSVP sooner, send gifts right away, check in on the bride.
I was a maid of honor at 21 to a woman I barely knew. I didn’t give a speech because I didn’t even realize that was part of the job description. I’m still embarrassed for myself.
Married at 35, my first daughter at 36, my learning curve was delayed on the wedding and baby shower gifts. Today, I give great gifts, throw a great shower, pick the fun but useful wedding gift I send on time because I know how to show up, imagining myself in their shoes.
I was a caregiver at 31.
I had a partial hysterectomy at 45.
I had my tailbone & S-5 and a cyst (growing on my bones) removed a week after my 47th birthday. I couldn’t sit for a month, drive for almost two, and when I did, even hitting the brakes was painful.
My friends didn’t know how to help, just like I didn’t know I needed to congratulate the bride and groom. But now I know. I’m a better coach and energy healer for having been through the multitude of hospital stays booking doctor visits that become a full time job.
Being sick broke me open in ways I never imagined—and these are the truths I carry forward into my healing work.
Show up for both the caregiver & patient without asking. Ice packs, heating pads, supplements, soup (but man I hate soup!). The gift is in arriving, not in over-questioning. Presence matters and when there are so many medical details, having to tell others what to do absolutely breaks your brain.
Pain rewires empathy. Once you’ve lived in pain and fear of more illness, you don’t flinch at someone else’s. You stop trying to fix it and simply sit with them. My superpower is sitting with really big fears, pain with Love. This is hard to do for many. I do not Pollyanna illness.
Details are only for the patient. Medical terms, side effects, progress charts—they matter to those living it, not outside of it. What matters everywhere else is care and consistency. When friends or part time friends asked for details, I’d wonder, what does it matter. Yes, some process with analytics but it’s really none of your business.
It helps the questioner, not the patient. I show up, less questions or my favorite text “you don’t have to reply to me”.
Energy is precious. When you’re sick, gossip, small talk, and unnecessary obligations disappear. All that remains is truth, honesty, and what actually nourishes you.
The real friends and your energy show up in stillness. When your body forces you to stop, you feel divinity in the silence, in the air, in the people who remember you without being asked.
Suffering refines perspective. Illness isn’t wasted—it clarifies. It made me a more grounded coach, a more compassionate healer, and a more present human. “what will get me out of bed?” One week it was netflix alien documentaries and one time it was taking a course or hugging a friend.
And this is where my work is rooted now. Coaching, Reiki, and energy work aren’t about quick fixes or surface-level shifts. They’re about learning to listen earlier, noticing what the body and energy are whispering before they start screaming. They’re about holding space for the parts of you that are in pain, guiding you back to what nourishes, and reminding you that presence is enough.
Being sick didn’t just make me softer. It gave me the tools and perspective I now use to help others reset, heal, and find Clarity.
Book an energy healing session now. Virtual works as well (or better) than in person!
